29 August 2010

AND THEN IT COMES

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hesitation first, a bit of caution AND THEN IT COMES, a big smile

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Nearly nine months of silence. i was not silent actually. sudden hesitation and panic gripped me.
Is it any good ?   Is this blog useful to any one ?
i don't know. 

Friends were urging me to write, what ?
what do you want me to write ? i can never be a writer
you've been writing, write something pleasant, you've been pretty nasty and  annoying

i know

oh! you know ??
ok, don't write anything then,  just post pictures.

Is it useful ? i asked nodder friend

not to me, he said, then he called me again to say he doesn't read my blog

Is it bad to say don't waste water ?
No, but the way you say it is quite annoying. said nodder chap.
oh !
OH ?


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nutting better than a bagful of smiles before i turn nasty again. 
Her modder was selling watermelons on the road
here comes her smile.

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She finds me quite funny. i don't know what she is laughing at. Me perhaps, Anyway she finds sompting amusing in me. i don't remember what i did. This was in Nepal lass month.

The whole format of posting looks different,  some new icons here which i have nebber seen before
'Enter' Key doesn't work, erratic, don't know if sompting wrong wid my keyboard, works fine odderwise.
oh deeah !  this posting box is not behaving. i think 'publish post'  would be quite a struggle.
This curser doesn't go where i want it to go  What ?


Boy with an ear ring.   


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i forgot the boy's name, this is Rikku,  slowly opening up. Children trust you fast. Not always though.
They talk even if they don't speak your language. Life is simple

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This is Ghausia, very sweet. 
Not much traveling this year, been to some places, have to think. Don't remember where i've been since January. i've been broke moss of the time. i was not active on facebook eeda.
i don't like facebook,
i like blogs.
moss of the time peeple show off on facebook. i think you have to, that seems to be the format. But i have seen some good stuff toos posted by friends. Some amazing videos, some very touching. You see them all on one page. All the tings your friends post.

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This is Rima. collecting wild mushrooms, and minding her goats, up a beautiful valley near Nagarkot in Nepal. Been there twice some 30 years ago. This visit was more pleasant and Nepal is lot greener than what i had seen before. i'll  write more about it later. 

Most of us are happy to see the green than any other colour.

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A little girl, collecting food and working,  is not a happy story. There is poverty everywhere. 
Why there is poverty 
Who started it ?
Not a good subject to discuss, but i will in a couple of weeks.


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See this happy chapee  ? 
somewhere near Villipuram in Tamil Nadu. 
He has many followers.
95% of the people of this world are like his followers. 
They believe in myths and follow without any question.

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This is Priyanka and Monish 5 years ago.
Priyanka Monish today
i think i posted Priyanka's picture before
They came with their parents, my friend Suresh and Kanchana last month, no, this month.

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Friends visiting keeps me in good spirits. Good for my health. Better than organic food. But i can't visit them all as some are abroad like Priyanka and Monish. i don't know if i'd live to see them again, if i do Priyanka would be a  gorgeous young lady. i'll post her picture if i am still blogging

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i have my share of failures. i did my best to make her smile. She kept staring at me. While i was at the height of my clowning, her mother appeared on the window and i fled. 
Some are naturally cheerful. Some are not.

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She is about to burst. 
i said you are wearing a beautiful ear ring and i want to take a picture. 
This is Sarita.
She's a kid, but runs a tea stall in a bamboo shed near the same valley in Nagarkot, Nepal. 
Very shy at first.
then comes the smile.

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you can see the reflection of my yeddu there.  She should be in school, playing with her friends, unfortunately she is not.  She has to help her parents to survive. She made badly needed tea for us. 
Black tea. 
She said i don't have milk, is it okkay ?  
i said that's what i want. and it was a life saver in a very remote and beautiful place.

A friend, beautiful young lady accused me of being an unhappy man for speaking my mind.
i think you have to be very insensitive to be happy all the time. i learn from people who find happiness in their state of utter poverty. 
i don't have such courage.

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Not been reading much, many half finished books on my bedside,  no patience, no inclination. Difficult to sit through a movie toos. i was 62 when i wrote my last post and i'll be 63 soon.

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This is my condition but i am still on the road.
i am fine, no health problems except for occasional cold. i love washing my clothes, hand washing, no washing machine. 
i check the Google weather before i put my clothes for wash.
Can't you just open the door and look out and see if its a right day to wash your clothes ? a friend asked.
i think we are losing our common sense very fast. 
The TV will tell us what to worry about and what not to worry and soon the TV will become our conscience,  i think it already has.
please stay away from TV as much as you can.

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Pandurangan Pillai is fine. Gets bullied by bigger cats. He is just over a year old. i am afraid soon he would be bullying younger cats which i would not approve. He is not going to seek my approval anyway.

Walked into a big Mall, new,  very close to my house, couldn't resist.
'Buy one and get one free' caught my attention.
i fell for that.

Then i noticed ' buy two and get one free'
i fell for that too.

These big Mall people have a knack of making you feel very smart.
that's how i felt
i felt very smart walking away with things i did not need.

This is a silly post, incoherent, forgot what and how to post after a long gap.
until next time, i don't know when
Be silly
be stupid
Its nice to be a human
All my love.

54 comments:

Elizabeth said...

So glad to read your thoughtful and EXCELLENT post.
Blogland has missed you.
You are sanity and our conscience and have such wonderful pictures and fine things to say.
Now I am flattering you.
Now I have to visit NEPAL.

Greetings from the US of A
where people buy far too may things ( made in China!) but you know that

oxoxo

vishesh said...

hi rauf :D Asked Aaaaarti if she had heard from you(about a month or two before I think) :D Nice to see a post from you :D *A smile bigger than any existing smiley*
Ha! what to do..I'm 19 now :P we all grow old..
Haven't been to EA yet...should do sometime soon :D

Sharon said...

It is very, very useful and beautiful and most importantly very real. It is so easy to limit our perceptions of reality to only what is directly in front of us. You open up the world for me. You open up my reality and help me to extend beyond myself and join the human collective. As for your words, I love to read your perspective. Please give us credit enough not to think were are so shallow that a few words, differing perspective, or strong opinion will offend us away. Your perspective and your opinions are valuable to me whether or not I agree with you or understand you.
Thank YOU rauf.
I am so glad you posted so that I know you are okay.

Monika said...

what gorgeous pics lovely

rauf said...

Dear ELIZABETH,
Half asleep, i watched a movie 'confessions of a shopaholic' in a Hotel room in Trivandrum ( Kerala )
i thought there are no such shopaholics in India as only a fraction of citizens have credit cards, i have none. But i was surprised to see the crowd in shopping areas in the city and in the shopping Malls. i thought i live in a conservative society in Chennai where people don't easily spend money. i was wrong Elizabeth.

October is the right time to visit Nepal. 30 years ago Nepal was looking miserable with deforestation everywhere. Now Nepal looks lot greener and presents a better picture.

i have no fine things to say Elizabeth. Some times i have to speak up which is not always pleasant.

Greetings from Chennai, hope you are doing fine.

rauf said...

Both Spencer's Plaza and EA are close to my house, little less than 5 minute walk for both VISHESH. EA has space, unlike the City Center which is a death trap.
These guys make you spend. they made a guy with empty pockets like me spend. just imagine how smart they are ! You'll like the place.

Long time since i met Aarti, we'll meet sometime soon. You must be in College now Vishesh.

Anonymous said...

Great pictures...such nice smiles!! Thanks for the window walking into post!!

STAGG

rauf said...

like 'penmanship' whole lot of things are going wrong with us SHARON. Luckily for us nature is healing itself of human folly, but human folly is going lot faster than the nature's healing process. So i called my environment series 'SPEED' What i have to say in this regard is not pleasant Sharon and it is hurting a lot of people. And i hold religion power money, male domination and greed (which is one package) responsible for all the things going wrong. Poverty is an environment issue. No solution seems to be in sight. Words like 'penmanship' make me angry, and i speak out. We are refusing to learn from the Animals Sharon.

rauf said...

Pictures ??
oh
MONIKA, Hi,
i'm yes,
surprised.
didn't expect any new readers, Thank you, This is not a pleasant place to visit Monika, Monika with a K, had to correct my spelling. Welcome to Daylight Again any way.
Bangalore ??
Saw your little darling prince in your blog. He is adorable. Please give him a hug from me. His smile would be the best thing in the world for you Monika.

rauf said...

STAGG HI, Thank you. How you've been ?

freefalling said...

You are NOT annoying or nasty.
And what does 'useful' mean, anyway?
Why is it that you want to blog?
To share?
To connect?
Then useful, you are.

What beautiful, smiling faces you have shown us.
The tea girl is especially beautiful - so full of grace.
And I love to see little Rima collecting mushrooms and looking after her goats.

I promise I will be stupid and silly - I try my best every day!

(I am so glad you are back).

rauf said...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE,
'that's the way aha aha' remember the song LETTY GIRL ? i think it was KC and the Sunshine Band. Being silly and stupid is the secret of happiness Lettys. i don't see intelligent, successful people or super genius leading a happy life. They are never satisfied and always seek more comparing themselves with others. Which makes them more miserable. Better be confused, better be silly, better be stupid and stay out of the smart and intelligent's race.

Matangi Mawley said...

Beautiful... fresh... and sure I did have a smile throughout the read..

very happy to hear once again about Pandurangan Pillai... One year eh? :) Our Thuppaandi is just 3 months old now.... He's already taken over our place.. Can't sit on a chair without checking for his presence! Lies on his back- with all his four paws stretched towards the ceiling on my dad's just pressed clothes! :)

rauf said...

You are always imaginative MATANGS, Thuppaandi made my day. Hilarious, terrific name, must be your idea, it has to be, cute chapee he is, saw him on one of your posts. Lucky for him that he found you. Mala has a visiting dog, a female, she calls him by some name but i call her Chandramukhi Chauthala and she responds.

i'll be going to Trichy in a couple of weeks, No Madurai this time. If you happen to Cross Chennai please call me Matangs, 98407 68067. Hope you are doing fine.

Ruth said...

I'm sitting with my jaw open and my heart in my tummy. I wait since your birthday for you to post, and when you do, it's two days before I see it. I got behind on Google Reader, where all my blog friends pop up, for a few days, got so busy with school starting up, had to work Sunday all day, and all day walk-ins yesterday too, and more today. If you had not told me you posted, I would have missed it. Thank you.

I don't know what to say, rauf. It's kind of like finding your blog all over again. The way you work magic when you get a person to smile the way they do, the way they look at you. The way the valley looks at you. The way you make words work for you, to be just yours and say just what you want to say and how you want to say them. I feel kind of shy. I think I'll go over here in Sarita's bamboo shed and make tea so she can go play. Just because I don't know what else to do, and I want to see her smile some more.

Ruth said...

Oh, rauf. There is a face looking at me from the background of your blog. Just to the right of my comment. It has deep sockets for eyes, and a white-tipped nosee. It looks like a phantom, or a ghost, or an old man without a long beard. Kind of like something in a William Blake painting.

Ruth said...

I meant with a long beard.

rauf said...

oh i see it now RUTH, looks like a ghost, i see the eye sockets and the nose and there is a beard here toos. Actually i was trying to locate a post on this subject Ruth. i forgot the title, but located it this morning

http://whitesroad.blogspot.com/2007/05/miracle.html

the post was about formation of an image of Jesus Christ on a wet wall. i posted some pictures too.
and cooked up some dialogue between me and God

i had a tough time posting the new post Ruth, the text box had many icons which i had never seen before, looked complicated.
After a long time i uploaded all the images in photobucket. it looks completely different now
Took me some time to understand. its the Usual silly stuff Ruth.
i have posted smiles many times before, couldn't think of anything else.

intelligentwins said...

How do you capture such nice "from the heart" smiles???? How do you make poeple fall for you??? you are a great person uncle!!! its also my big dream to capture "Smiles"..make a collective collage of all smiles!!! excellent post uncle!:)

fan of rauf
neeru

Sewmouse said...

Oh Rauf! Another post and more beautiful pictures. I am so glad to hear you are well. Every time I would see a comment from you on someone's blog I would come here to see if you had a new post, but you kept buying shoes.

I am happy to see you back posting. Would you like another cat? I could catch the intruder and send him to you.

*hugs* Sewmouse

Cynthia S. said...

Such amazing photographs. I love to see another part of the world and a different point of view. No, we can't be happy all the time; we should not be. There is a saying I like: "if you're not outraged, you're not paying attention." Your blog is refreshing and it does make readers wake up.

willow said...

I've popped over at the suggestion of Elizabeth Wix and I'm so glad I did. Brilliant post. I'll definitely be back for another visit.

Peter said...

So nice to see you back! I see how you manage to make people, children, smile! Looking and redaing your post made me smile too! A great pleasure! :-)

Nautankey said...

Wow rauf.This is a wonderfu coincidence.e to bloged after 8 months,same incoherent blabber :)

ShantanuDas said...

Hi.... my bad luck that I could never meet you when at Chennai. now am not... there...but at Delhi..

Marie said...

jolie collection de sourires, j'aime beaucoup cette série.

Sandy said...

I am reminded once again why I love your blog, your photos, your honest writing. So great to read and see this update.

Claudia said...

Your post just made my day, rauf. Such a nice surprise when I found out (through Peter's comment on Ruth's blog) that you had come back! You have such a gift for conveying hope and joy through your photos, especially those of children and young women... And your texts are so endearing. I'm so glad.

rauf said...

oh its so easy to make you smile NEERU. You are a sweet person by nature. i don't have to anything to make you smile. i am very clumsy and i am very very dumb and people find it funny specially children.

a collage of smiles is a bad idea Neeru. Each smile carries a different impact.

rauf said...

Good to hear from you SEW, i have been around mostly doing nothing just wasting my time as usual.

no no, i have not been buying shoes Sew, wearing the same one, i wear them till my toes stick out. yes yes the last post was stuck for over 9 months i too felt like i am buying shoes every time i checked my blog to see if its still there. i have seen some cases of blog hijacking. but no one is interested in hijacking my blog

Hope you are doing fine SEW

rauf said...

quite true CYNTHIA, all our lives happiness is very elusive. We just look for moments of joy. We can't be happy all the time unless we insulate ourselves from what is happening around us, which should make any sane person very angry, outraged.

Welcome to Daylight Again Cynthia.

rauf said...

Thank you WILLOW, Welcome to Daylight Again.

rauf said...

Hi PETER, There is always hesitation at first, as i wrote in my post. i see that i don't scare them. if i am relaxed they are relaxed. i go mostly to the villages and remote areas. i walk, no car, these poor people get scared if you get out of the car and start clicking pictures. Slowly they start asking questions. They want to know why i have come to a godforsaken place like theirs. i say i like to meet people which they find it very funny and waste of money. i tell them where i came from, most of them have no idea about their own country. i tell them that i come from a far off place. Slowly a crowd gathers around you. i show them the pictures in the camera screen always.

in the cities its different. i am very careful talking to the children. Their parents may pounce on you. Dangerous.

rauf said...

i am a champion of incoherent blabber NATTU NATWARLAL NAUTANK. After nine months when i clicked on 'NEW POST' it looked as if i am in a different planet.

rauf said...

it was your good luck and my bad luck that you couldn't meet me SHANTANU DAS

rauf said...

merci MARIE

rauf said...

Thank you SANDY. i missed a lot. i was not reading blogs for a while. It was not planned hiatus. It just happened. Sometimes i don't like to sit on the computer. I'll try and update as regularly as possible. Thank you once again Sandy

rauf said...

i don't like staring at gloomy Lisbon bridge CLAUDIA. You had a wonderful summer, must be having lots of pictures. You'd be doing us a favour actually, posting them.

Even animals go into silent mode i think. it happens with pandurangan pillai, doesn't last more than couple of days. i am still not comfortable with Facebook Claudia. i get to see some good videos though. Hope you Michel Ana and Clara are fine.

D@r$hi said...

hey rauf...
welcome back...

n trust me when i say that i really did miss u, thr were so many times i visited ur blog found nothing so went back with sad face...

n now this post of urs has put a big smile on face,,, its one of those things about ur posts they are just so pure.. straight from ur heart... plz keep blogging..
-love

D@r$hi said...

I promise I will be stupid and silly - I try my best every day!


i loved it... forgot to say..
:)

sonia a. mascaro said...

Hi Rauf,
I am so glad you posted and to hear that you are well.
Every day I have been checking Bloglines to see if you update.
I LOVE your blog! It's really a great pleasure to read your excellent writings and seeing your gorgeous, amazing photos!
Thanks for sharing with us your witty writings, so nice faces and so lovely smiles.

PS: Thank you so much for your nice and kind words to my daughter's birthday! Sofia and me appreciate very much your congratulations.

Anonymous said...

kids are so sweet!
and Nepal is so green!
again--so happy that you are back to blogging.
e2d

rauf said...

Sweet DARSHANA, Yes its been a while. i went in to silent mode for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
i am plain lazy, thats all. Had to think if this blog is useful to any one. Had a lot to say, some of which was offensive. i felt i had to speak out. i am doing my best to convey my thoughts without hurting any one. Lies give comfort Darshana. Truth always hurts. But in my life i have noticed that people WANT to hear lies, only lies. When there is demand for lies there are people who would supply a good lot of it. In a broader picture what is the truth and what is a lie doesn't really matter. A good majority of the people of this world believe in myths, myths created for a reason to control the society. In the end nothing really matters.

Hope you are doing fine Darshana. Yes i would love to see you silly and stupid. i have seen sensible wise and intelligent people. They are a big pain actually, who try to dump their wisdom on your head. They are not happy and they will not let you be happy.

rauf said...

Thank you SONIA. Its like coming back home after a long time meet my family and friends like you.
In fact some of my blog friends know me more than my own family. Here in this blog i try to be as plain as possible. i have no image to project and i want you to know me as i am.
Thank you once again Sonia

rauf said...

E2DEEEEES, Whatoo ? wanted to write some thing pleasant after a long gap. i'll write more on Nepal.
You don't need much money in Nepal and October is the right time. Go there E2DEES. i am tired of taking pictures of landscapes. This time i wanted to take pictures of people in remote areas. Its beautiful everywhere. Next post is on Kerala waterways.

from Alicia M B Ballard's Studio said...

Dearest Raufie:

Why post?

Because you make me think, feel, laugh, cry...
You educate, stimulate, provoque and enrich my intellectual life.
Because you share your spontaneous raw, yet, hiper-sensitive wisdom honestly, from the heart.

Because you make a difference.

Because you made me love you and, I miss you, your photos and your writing, your wonderful writing, very much - as it has been food for my soul, joy for my heart - for th elast 5 year. (?) You keep count...

Because a lot of us now say Love anf hugs, and we remember whom we learned from...

See?
There are a lot of reasons to keep blogging!!!

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Love these photos and you colour commentarie...
Yes, do write about poverty next.

------------

FB is another animal altogether.
Most of us, use it to promote ourselves, our work.
However, I find that some very nice friendship have evolved there too.
I did not like it much, even resented it, but it has definitely served me better internationally, as contact established throught the same, took my work, to Brazil, Spain, Italy and the US this year...

My dear fried, love to see you back.
Love and hugs

monsoon dreams said...

welcome back deee!!!so many smiling faces.soo glad dee.please take me to villupuram once.

rauf said...

oh dearest ALICIA, you have been a big support to me all along. i am not thanking you for agreeing with me. i am thanking you for guiding me and opening my mind with your precious contributions to this blog and in your own blog for the guidance of your friends and readers. Your perspective is most important to me.

i can't change the world to my liking Alicia. i tried to change myself and adapt myself to live peacefully in this world. But the external factors have been too disturbing for me. i couldn't insulate myself and remain happy.
i had to speak out.

Life is a joke Alicia. We can't take it seriously. This business of survival bothers me. too many things bother me. The animals are lot happier than us. i wanted to adapt their attitude. But chose to be silly and stupid instead and never made any attempt to be intelligent and wise to join the race.
thank you so much for being there Alicia

rauf said...

NEENU KUTTA whatoo ? Sure i'll take you to Villipuram. The town is very congested. Peace and quiet little away from the town with lush green paddy fields all around. i'll put you on a bullock cart. It will rattle your nuts and bolts. You'll love it Neenudee. Very nice sincere people. i crossed some village where everybody was inviting me for lunch. i'll mail you some villipuram pictures today. leaving for coorg early morning tomorrow.

monsoon dreams said...

wow!thanks deeee.i love tamilnadu soo much.drove to sundarapandyapuram,thenkasi,kuttalam with my friends.

moroccomama said...

Smiling, open faces, radiating light, opening hearts. Thank you.

wildpic said...

rauf, a serious question - why and when does the real trusty smile die in a child ?

Anonymous said...

You read Vogue? Love your blogs, so relaxing. Visited your site after a long time.

I don't know what I said to offend you. I am out of your loop. Anyway wish the best


N

joejoseph said...

gods own country,

wow!!!!!!!!!!

evergreen catch;

hopfully say you

thanks a lot for theliving pictures