Showing posts with label profanity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label profanity. Show all posts

22 March 2009

MIND YOUR LANGUAGE PLEASE

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i was screaming uncontrolably, it was like an earthquake

no bother, he didn't even look at me
he was walking gracefully and peacefully
the camel
poor thing
i started hurling obscenities at myself,
at myself
foul language
i am not a good guy, there are blog friends who have expressed their desire to meet me
they are in for a shock when they do, if they do.

the camel turned towards me and said
mind your language please !

ha! a talking camel ?? wow,
no sir, no sir, i was cursing myself sir, not you sir i said pleading, barely making it sensible
as my heart was in my mouth, please believe me sir, i was cursing myself.


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i continued screaming, put me down, bring me down
i was very angry at Rajkumar and Pauli who insisted on my having a camel ride
where are they ?
i couldn't jump, it was like jumping from a 3 storied building
i always avoided having elephant rides horse rides.
now this, i didn't want a ride, i didn't.


Mind your language please, said the camel, i am going to run now

Na, Naaaaaaaaaa. pleeeese don't run sir pleeeese
okkay thats fine, you can come down now, anodder earthquake, my heart jumped out and i caught it put it back in my mouth, as the camel sat down.

what a relief when i was back on my own feet.
i kept walking along with the camel

Hi Camel sir, thank you so much

my pleasure, said the Camel, you are so rude and arrogant

i had nothing to say

from where did you learn to talk ?

we always talk, from where did you learn to speak ? he asked me, we talk among ourselves, i am talking to you because you look like one of us.

me a camel ? do i look like a camel to you ?

na na, i mean us animals, you look like a gorilla

oh thank you thank you very very kindly Camel sir. i was very pleased to hear that.


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thats not a camel, that is a woman walking ahead of us.

for your kind information i am a PhD, says the camel

wow i said, i am not surprised, all camels look like philosophers.

what was your subject ?

theology

i don't believe this, oh deeah, theology of all the subjects ??

other Camels study human behaviour, and we always discuss human behaviour, you humans are so funny, we always have fun discussing you people. Look at yourself, you are funny too, quite funny, look at your shoes, your dress.

yea i know, i am a sadak chaap, i am a poor man.

we have no such hangups, there is no rich and poor among us, remember what Einstein said ?

Humans are infinitely stupid ? i said

yes.

Have you studied Einstein's theory ? i asked

We don't have to, Said the camel, we know it, we knew it long before Einstein came along. Look what you have done, you humans, with your wisdom and intelligence, you have destroyed the world, this earth, this desert is soaked in human blood, its your funeral, not ours.

What do we do now ? i asked

you have altered the settings

what do we do now, any ideas ? i asked

restore defaults, said the Camel

Excuse me, Sir would you please come again ?

no answer

Restore defaults ??

you heard me, this is your stupidity, you want me to repeat it.

Restore defaults ??

yes. We will be too happy to see you go extinct. Killing each other, before the earth takes its revenge. And, please mind your language.

i didn't mean to be offensive Camel sir, these words just grab instant attention, adds weight to what you are saying. harmless words actually, wish you could watch MarissaTomei saying it.
i have it on my mobile, let me show you, she bagged best supporting oscar for her role. She was nominated this year toos buttoo Penelope got it. cute man she bees, more than a cute man she bees.

watch this Camel Sir, Joe Pesci is going on a deer hunting expedition with his friend.




oh she's gorgeous !

oh yes she is, would like to see Anne Hathaway ?

perhaps next time. thank you

Byee Camel Sir,

remember what i said

Restore defaults ? yes i will., can't do much about it alone but i'll remember

tell your friends

yes i will.

byee Camel Sir

Good bye my friend.


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Had to post it today, caught up with things, Sweety's wedding in a couple of days, Asokan's Exhibition is coming up in Ernakulam first week of April., working on pictures brochure, invitation posters have to be designed, brochure is done, thought i could design the template too,
this time' daylight again is written with arrogance, i hate presenting myself as a saint
i hate saints.
updating other blogs. When i have too many things to do, i just sleep.
oh i forgot a few things.
goofed the template
i'll rectify it later, sorry, everything is going wrong

Enjoy the spring
all my love.