13 April 2007


Have to move fast, it was getting dark
looked up , yea i could see the sky now
there was more light in this part of the forest, My mouth was dry like i never had water for days, Just after the sunset. Dehydrated again,
Still half a mile to walk, no strength left, my knees shaking.
i was sitting on a rock, with shattered pride.
Completely drenched in sweat, completly.
Taking deep breaths, Dripping wet.
Drops of sweat falling from my head, tip of my nose like an open tap, badly needed some more water to drink. Half a mile in a forest was quite a long walk in this fading light.
My palms were badly bruised, I could see two blood clots on my left palm, right below the fingers. Are they blood clots ? took a closer look through my fogged spects
i was carrying a towel in my camera bag wanted to dry my head
it just did not matter. Nothing mattered any more.
yea yea yea i shook my head and smiled
Things in the bag were so meaningless.

Nearly lost my life, an hour ago
i was shivering, it wasn't that cold, mid february it was.
i was shivering with fear, i was shivering with cold.
i was not afraid when i was facing death.
Fear gripped me now, on safer ground
Sitting on a rock completely shattered.

'raufaan' i heard my mom's voice calling me
raufaan, again
Hallucination, i was clearly halucinating
Amma, maaaaa........... it was in my head
This time i whispered 'Amma', i called my mom
i did not cry
Felt heavy in my chest, lump in my throat, but did not cry
No more voices.
They stopped
Wrong place to smoke and attract elephants
Now i did not care, i lit my pipe and smoked.

George Clooney, he got an oscar, George Clooney ? his death in syriana came to mind
one explosion, so many dead, on the road.
Do i have enemies ? No, i have lot of people who are pretty mad at me but no enemies.
incoherant thoughts. Vision was getting blurred.
Did not even bother to clean my spects.
Lyeeqh, my childood friend, blind he was, terrific singer, have to locate him and meet him, never met him for more than 40 years,
As if !! haha, how sweet !! Clueless, Alicia Silverstone, sweet she is,
Azzif .... i said aloud, and she twists her lips, i smiled

No, i should not tell any one about my stupidity, my weakness.
Things started getting more incoherant,
Ramgopal, cheated me, i am happy that he is dead.
Am I happy that some one is dead ?
i complain abour evil people, ...... i am evil.
Is there any one who would be happy if i died ?
None that i could think of

Two floors above the butcher
First door on the right
Life filled to the brim
As I stood by my window
And I looked out of those
Brooklyn roads
i was humming the song now, Neil Diamond its in my iPOD

streets of my childhood, my playmates, we used to play cricket across the road with a bat made out of a plank cracked wood, this flashed my mind as i was dying an hour ago.
i am afraid to cross the same road now, non stop traffic. i could have died on the road years ago
am i going mad ?
i am going mad
dialogue running in my mind with my mother as I smoked
A moment ago i heard her voice, calling me.

i loved my mom to bits, she died in my arms, with a spoon i was pouring water in her mouth, i saw her last breath leave. I closed her mouth, i held her in my arm, staring at her kind face, her lips opened, then she took one more breath, that was her last. i felt so guily, that i closed her mouth before she died, before her last breath, kissed her on her forehead, still warm,
Gently placed her on the pillow.
It was all coming back to me now.

I did not cry.
I loved her so much.

No you don't love me

amma ??.........maaaaa ?

Do you think I am not alive ?

yes maaa you are alive

i suddenly realised that mother is alive, it is not just a piece of rock like moon and other planets.....this planet is special.
Mother Earth.
Mother earth.....lifeless soil, rocks, lifeless water, hydrogen and oxygen, no life. just solid liquid and gas, no life, no mind.

How wrong I was. Mother earth can think, it can act. it can punish, defying all the laws of physics.
Mother earth wrote her own laws
She has a heart, she has a mind.
I belive in science, nothing else, I need conclusive proof of everything.

Do you know you are the only one who has defied my wishes my child ? defied my rules ?

No i have not maaa !
This is not hallucination, i was talking to myself, like Anthony perkins in Psycho
I am making things up. This dialogue, smoking, completely dehydrated. Not in sound mind.

Yes i have been disobedient maaa, some times

Why are you so proud ? what makes you sooo proud ?
Do you think you are superior to my other children ?

Yes amma, i am superior.

I just shattered your pride and you were crawling ? remember ? an hour ago ? you were down on your knees, remember ?

My mouth was dry, this is something i didn't want to tell even to my closest friends

Do you think you are special ?

yes maaa, i am, i was defiant

Do you think you are superior to your own brothers ?

yes i am maaaa !

Why ? tell me why ?

i have knowledge, i know the capital of united states is Hollywood, I have 2 cameras and i have three iPODs full of terrific music maaaa !

I could imagine my mother smiling at me

You are such a fool my son, these things don't mean anything to me, your knowledge is so useless to me.

i have 300 rupees in my bank amma

the elephant behind you doesn't even have a bank account and he is lot happier than you are

oh dear ! I jumped when i heard some noise, no elephants, this side of forest area was not dense like the one i had climbed an hour ago, so dense that there was hardly any light there

Watch out my child, you are stepping on elephant dung

thanks maaa !

take a closer look

it was dark but i could still see worms in the elephant dung and flies, no, not flies mosquitos, not sure, they were too small, very thin and black, hundreds of them.

My child, you are no superior than the worm in elephand dung, you are all the same to me, i take care of all of you, i feed you all.

i am wise amma, i have wisdom and i am intelligent, this worm is not, you are insulting me.
what a comparison ! me and a worm ha !
i have the power to destroy them amma. I can smash them right now and God has chosen me as a superior to rule the world

What god ? you mean the god you have created ? How foolish ?

I am so ashamed to call you my son, you are a coward you know that ?
You - are - such - a - coward, you use your power to destroy the weak, this worm is a part of me you fool, and you are no longer a part of me., and it is contributing in maintaining the balance my child, it is lot wiser than you are.
I am ashamed of you.
Your wisdom and intelligence has only inflicted injuries on me, smeared the blood of the innocent children on me, I am wounded my child I am bleeding, you have hurt your own mother, these worms are not hurting me a bit.

We are doing everything we can to heal your injuries maaa, we are doing our best.

how wrong you are my child, like the wounds you have on your body now, I can heal myself, i don't need your help,
you are too small to help me you fool.
Even if you make me greener as i was thousands of years ago I will continue to punish you.
I can make myself green, I can beautify myself you know ? without your help
I don't need your help.

What can you do, tell me what can you do maaa ? i am intellegent enough to defend myself

haha ! you forgot, you nearly lost your life just a while ago, its me who saved you, a thin flimsy root saved your life.

No, i was angry, No, i could have used anything to save my life
i did not beg for mercy

But it was the root which saved your life

i did not beg
i did not pray to any god, or beg for mercy, i was willing to die
i did not beg

but it was the strength of the thin root

i could have used anything to my advantage at that moment, it happened to be the strength of the root

you are alive now

i have the will to survive,
ok what will you do amma ? tell me what will you do to us ?

I'll destroy you and your brothers and sisters in a matter of few seconds

How much is that ? your few seconds haa ?

Say five hundred years of your time, I am giving you enough time to rectify yourself.

What ? whats wrong with me ? why do i rectify myself ?, i am fine thank you.

Yes I am right, I made the mistake of bringing you in here, you your brothers and sisters are the biggest blunder I have commited, bigger than the giant reptiles.
You are such a disappointment to me my child. Its time I rectify my mistake, its time for you to go, I'm affraid your days are numbered,
Yes you have to go, your days are numbered.

C'mmon amma you always say that when ever i am disobedient.

This worm obeys my wishes, obeys my rules, it is in line, and it is in order and you are not.
you have moved away from the order, moved away from the line.

We are trying to join them amma, we are trying, honestly

No you are not. you are not even making an attempt,
It is not the injuries you have inflicted on me that bothers me,
It is your attitude your arrogance which hurts me most.
You are lost in your petty philosophies, you created gods, you created religions, do you think it helped me ?
Not one bit.
you brought misery on your own brothers, you deny them what i give to all. You stand divided, you drew lines on my body, you divided your own mother ? How shameful of you ?
You impose your thinking on others. if they refuse to join you, you destroy and kill them ??,
you enjoy violence in the news, you enjoy violence in your sport and you enjoy violence in your entertainment. You take pleasure in spilling blood,
and to annoy me more, YOU TREAT YOUR OWN BROTHERS AS INFERIORS, you keep them hungry, you see them dying of starvation when i have given you plenty to share with all my children.
I had such high hopes on you, I thought you would be the best of all my children,
you turned out to be the worst, you have disappointed me miserably.
I have no option, but to wipe you off my surface.

oh dear!.... mom is clearly mad at us

what do we do amma, tell me what do we do ? We have woken up now, we have realised our mistakes

No, you have not, you are not awake, you are still sleeping.

We are doing what we can amma, we are trying to help you

No, I can take care of myself, what dumb notion trying to help me ?? ha !
This worm in the elephant dung can help me more than all of you put together.

What do you expect us to do then, maaaa ??

I will not take anything less than a change of heart.
now go, it is dark. and stop smoking you idiot, you are killing yourself, you are the only self destructive species I have to deal with and believe me my child, you and your brothers will help me in destroying you by killing each other yourself. Go kill each other, you would be making my task lot easier, and I will have lot less guilt in wiping you and your brothers off my surface.
I will think of keeping you alive only if you behave and prove to be good children
And not by healing my injuries.

We will fight maaa, we will fight, self destructive you said, yes we are, you cannot finish us like you did to the giant reptiles, you cannot make us beg maaa, you cannot make us beg
we are humans, we have love, we have compassion, and most of all, we sacrifice maaa,
we sacrifice
We would sacrifice for our children, for our younger generation, we are not giant reptiles maaa who ate their own childrento stay alive.
We will sacrifice our lives, sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, Elton John, i have that on my iPOD maa you wanna hear it ?

Just shut up, I hate lawyers

I am not a lawyer maaa,
Amma, do you still care about us ?

Of course I do. you better change your attitude and remember,
Now go, its dark
i have a flash light maaa,

And watch out for snakes, they are my children too.

amma, maaaa ???
No answer.

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Half an hour of walk in the forest, in dehydrated condition. I came out of the forest,
what a relief,

i walked in to a huge tea estate, open sky, more light here, this is just a part of the tea estate, very big area
i realised our blunders, such a huge area of forest was destroyed for tea plantation.


Beyond this tea estate is the forest.

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Took this picture before i entered the forest.

My friend Asokan and the guide were waiting for me, Asokan was shocked to see me. He said he has never seen me so shattered before. How is the water falls ? he asked
i said it was not worth the risk, Asokan and i have seen lot better waterfalls more beautiful ones. We have gone on the Himalayan trek together some 25 years ago, we have traveled a lot together. Asokan being much senior to me, my most respected friend, my guide, my teacher.

What took you so long ? the tribal guide asked me, i gave him 100 rupees and went straight for the water which was coming thru a pipe. We had to walk for more than two miles on a easy jeep track. We walked under the moonlight towards the road and i heard the sound of a distant bus or a truck
That sound was music to me
We humans

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I was stupid enough to go on a trek in an unknown territory unequipped, though i am quite familiar with Wynad forests Had a guide, a young tribal, but he never told me how steep the descent was, wanted to go and see a waterfall i heard about, take pictures , i could hear the roar of the river from a mile below.
Can't be that far i thought, Meenmutty in Wynad kerala, this happened two months ago

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Steep descent is more difficult than climbing, it was tough on my knees, i am too old for it and it was getting steeper, nearly vertical, too late to give up. Since it was nearly vertical, the roots of the trees were jutting out giving me a good foothold. I was descending holding on to the roots. Dense and dark forest, no fear of elephants.
Too steep and slippery for them and they are more sensible than me,
i just had to watch out for snakes.
My hands were not free to take pictures.
I'll cut it short, No problems, i reached the waterfall, nothing great, i have seen lot better ones. Took pictures, stayed there for more than half an hour. It was nearing sunset. Completely refreshed, too late for a mile of vertical climb. The guide disappeared, i started climbing, was soon panting for breath, no place to sit and take rest, you can't sit on a near vertical terrain. i could just stop, holding on to a couple of roots, take a few deep breaths and climb again. My camera bag was a burdon.

i started cursing myself, cursing my love of the wilderness, i longed for traffic, traffic noise, roaring of engines, honking of horns, i longed for the city, noisy markets, pollution, i am not ashamed of admitting this. i was sweating too much, no water to drink. My hands were not free to open a water bottle, there was no bottle. i was afraid i would get dehydrated and collapse. My hands were wet, This was prooving to be more difficult than all my Himalayan treks.
My bad luck
I stepped on a loose rock and i slipped, went sliding about 10 feet down,
As I was sliding fast, I grabbed a root, my feet dangling in the air, hoping some tree or a branch would stop me from falling on to the rocks below. i could feel something like a row small beads in the root, giving me a good grip.

So this is the end, my whole life, my childhood flashed before my eyes.
A very thin root held my life, it could snap. end of me.
'me' sounded so meaningless now.
I did not feel the pain of bruises and cuts on my chest.
i'll go now. Last sunset of my life.
As it was getting darker, the roar of the river below me was getting louder.
Just seconds before i fall, smashing my head against the rocks and the river will take me. i was more worried about causing a problem to Asokan, my friend who was waiting for me up there in locating my body.
The thin root turned out to be too strong. I felt the power of nature,
I am not strong, physically, mentally
my palm was burning, no blood, one hand free.
If i try to swing my legs, the thin root would snap. There was no option.
One two three i swung, just a little
i could see another root which I could hold with my free hand, not far, but my free hand couldn't reach it.
i swing again, my shoulder was killing me, missed once , on my second attempt i grabbed it with my free hand and hauled myself up.
This stupid camera bag still dangling, managed to trap one foot on another root, little away. i stayed in that spread position for ten minutes, breathing heavily, dust in my mouth and nostrils, Face down, smelling the loose and dry soil. A thin root saved my life, so strong it was.
Badly needed a little flat space to stop, free my hands and clean up my spects which were fogged with dust while sliding down.
The whole thing took just a few seconds including the flashback of my life, my childhood.
i felt weak, no strength in my legs and in my hands, I was getting dehydrated.
i will not do this again, there are people waiting for me at home, my life is full of love up to the brim
No i will not do it.
i just wanted to reach a spring i saw on my way down. where does that water go ?
It should go down and join the river, but i saw no signs of it, no noise, as the roar of the river down below was too loud. did not know how far I had to climb to reach there.
i rubbed my face against my shirt sleeve rubbing my spects which cleared the dust a little but there was still covered with dust from inside. i was able to see now, bit more clearly, saw a thicker root or was it a tail of a snake ?
The root did not move, so it wasn't a snake, i grabbed the thicker root, lot safer.
i was hoping that the guide would come back looking for me, he did not.
i will not pay him, but i paid 100 rupees later.
Where's my iPod ? i remember it was in my pocket. No, it's in my camera bag, my guide was listening to it, at the waterfall, he did not like the music, He made faces and gave it back to me and i put it in the camera bag.

Mr. Eric Clapton, my guide did not like your music.

It was getting dark, i could not see the sky yet, my hands were not free to take the flash light out of my camera bag. Lets go, soon reached the spot which was more inclined less vertical. No strength in my legs, Dehydration was getting me.
i crawled, shamefully crawled. My knees were not injured, i was wearing thick Lee Dungrees.
Crawling was a relief to my aching shoulders. Was i climbing in the right direction ?
i have a poor sense of direction and half my faculties were not working
i did not see my foot marks, Dark. Then i heard the gushing sound of water hitting rocks nearby. i had drifted but not very far. Crawled in that direction side ways.
Yes, found it, the spring. i did not see the source. Not much place to sit, a little flat rock, Crouched, had to shove my head inside
Something is missing,
something is missing
Cupped my hands to take water, and i drank, and i drank
i did not even wash the dust and dirt on my hands, nothing existed for me
just me and the water.

i felt the cuts and bruises now.
Later that night in the hotel room, i found no cuts or wounds, just minor bruises, very minor. Perhaps it was my sweat burning them. My palm burned too but still i did not see the blood clots.
As i was withdrawing myself, I realised that in sheer desperation i forgot to do something vital
i should have thrown a couple of stones before entering the wierd looking cave like rock
This is the kind of place where you would most likely encounter a snake, i would have collapsed dehyderated in another five minutes. It was not half as bright as the picture shows. I could barely see the water. Took a picture in poor light.

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Another five minutes, it was easy to climb, less trees more light.
Soon i started sweating again, still no place to sit, still it was vertical for me, where did all the water i drank go? descending back to drink more water was foolish, had no time, it was getting darker and darker
i was still looking up, trying to see the top, I couldn't even see the sky. in ten minutes i reached a spot from where it was still less steeper. i saw the sky. Thankfully this steep strech was very short, in ten minutes I reached the top but still not out of the forest, had to walk on flat trail for another twenty to thirty minutes, half a mile.
i saw no snakes, none, not one.
Found a rock and sat there. there was more light here.
right after sunset.
I was safe,
No not yet, I saw the elephant dung. They can't be very far
i had no strength to run. i needed more water to drink,
i was badly sweating, dripping wet, breathing heavily.
shivering with fear, shivering with cold

And i started hearing voices in my head
i was halucinating.

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Actually the Meenmutty trek is not very difficult, As i was entering the forest i saw six youngsters crossing me, they stopped and spoke to my friend Asokan,
one of them said, 'uncle you can't make it, its too steep and dangerous, uncle, we gave up'.

I did not take the warning. Luckily my friend Asokan stopped, but i like a damn fool decided to go ahead, as i told you the trek is not very difficultIt was my bad luck that I placed too much faith on a loose rock and slipped. Perhaps I was very tired after Edukkal caves trek in the morning with Asokan. That was not as vertical as this, and there were solid rocks, we made it easily.

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i was feeling wierd right since morning, it was the kind of feeling when you are appearing for your exams unprepared. i was afraid of exams even when i was well prepared. The trek in the morning with Asokan was quite steep but not near vertical, on our way back i took these pictures, and this scene struck me like a thunderbolt.

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Why are they doing this ? What a sin ! chopping so many trees, this is just from a small forest area.
i realised they are chopping them to meet our demands.

If i have a big dining table my neighbour would like to have even a bigger one.
Demand is the key. i don't blame them.

Our problems lie somewhere else.
Believe me, the people who are talking about saving this planet have no clue what they are talking about.


Contented said...

Awww...Quite a big post! Need time to digest the content. Bit busy today so will come back later to comment on the post.

Good to know you had good time in Andhra. Take your time to post the pics...:)

Biby Cletus said...

Nice post, its a Super cool blog that you have here, keep up the good work, will be back.

Warm Regards

The Snake River

Sangita said...

Phew that's a near death escape sequence..too harrowing to recollect in such details..Show how much goes thru nehind these pics and how much u love what u do.Also makes me feelwhatever I do can never be as fearless as u were..

Ruth said...

At last you shared the details of this near death experience.

Nothing matters, nothing matters at all.

Except the essence of Life, that's it.

But matter doesn't matter.

It's a paradox and a mystery that you saw directly. Few people ever do. You are lucky, not just to survive, but to see what you saw.

You were wiped clean. Empty. That's where the essence is.

That's what I believe, even though I've never had an experience like yours. What do I know? Nothing. But I know this in my heart.

Lisa Francisco said...

Ok now! So you wanted me to shut up and stop complaining about you being lazy about updating your blog! So in response to my nagging, a characteristic inherent to the female race, you decided to post something so long that I got logged off my computer program at work! So now my boss knows for sure that I have not been working for the past 45 minutes!

It's all your fault! Ok I will now shut up but I won't stop nagging. Keep your post short and constant!!!

Hehehehe..! I knew you would love that! Thanks for stopping by today. I really appreciate your thoughts and comments. If you can find my John Abraham replica please tell me!

Oh, so are you saying that it's really our selfish demands that's causing the problem of the environment? I think that's what environmentalists have been saying was the problem.

Or are you saying that it is too late to save the environment?

Please find my John Abraham look a like please!!!! :)


isabella said...

Dear Rauf,
First and foremost – so glad you made it back safely! Yes, there are a lot of people (in addition to your family) who care about you...

Second - those pictures of the falls are inspiring. Definitely not worth your life, but still amazing ;-)

I am surprised that you let yourself get dehydrated. For such an experienced traveler it is unpardonable! Please, carry extra water with you, in place of an iPOD! Neil Diamond can only do so much for you ;-)

Hallucinations? Yes, I've had them, mainly in the hospital, after some potent pain killers, but that only made me paranoid. No discussions with deceased relatives.

As much as I would like to put on my rose-colored glasses and tell you that I see a greener future for the earth and its inhabitants, I cannot do it. The emerging economies demand more and more of the earth’s dwindling resources. I do not see a happy ending, Hollywood style…

As Ruth commented, my post today complimented yours, don’t you think? Please visit me tomorrow; I’ll be featuring your friend, the crocodile!

"Angeldust" said...

A monumental post dear Raufie.

Your words re-playing your life-death episode are indeed a precious gift...
Dialoguing with our mother...

A humbling experience...(?)

As you said, we are trying - many of us are trying.

(Clear cut logging should be outlawed everywhere and, severely punishable!)

This was quiet a jouney you have taken me on - you really put your soul and more into it.

Thank you
Lots of love and a huuuuuge hug

iamvisheshur said...

there is nothing to say..it is too touching..i want to visit the place sometime..sounds good..where is it?

yes we are spoiling our mother nature....who will bare the whimps and scorns of time?

Protegeoflife said...

Phew was my expression when finish lobnng story bi\ut good use of figure od apeeches u r on mission of awakening well written bro i just love ur posts u r very intellectual and good writer


Neil Diamond's enough to make anyone hallucinate if yer ask me.

That was quite an adventure old bean. Enjoyed following it - as I knew you made it back in one piece already.

How to save the planet? Not good news for us I fear.

How do you treat a virus to remove it from a person - assuming it's curable. Antibiotics of one form or another kill the virus. Then you've saved the person.

Nature will find an antibiotic against the human race one day. That's how the planet will be saved. Not for us though I suspect. We'll have been necessarily removed for the planets survival.

Great post Rauf and great pics as always.

Contented said...

Spell bound. Your breath taking experience indeed. Your expressive narration took my breath away few times as I ran through your words.

As you righteously said we all are to blame whats going around in the world at the present. As I said before we have to find ways to lessen the damage which might happen in future. I know its easy to said than be done. But we can't sit and watch...

Rauf said...

Contended, we have not yet identified our problems, we don't seem to understand what is ailing us,and those who understand refuse to accept the realities. Global warming is only one of many problems we face.

I'll post Hyderabad and andhra right after the 4 part handloom series.

Rauf said...

Biby Cletus, thank you, I'll try to warm up the blog a bit. Have to buy a microwave.

a budding poet kept sending his poems to a magazine, and none were published, but he never gave up. one day he wrote to the editor asking him the reason for the rejection. he received a prompt reply.
'please put some fire in to your poems or put your poems in to the fire'

Rauf said...

Sangita, How are you ? My friend Shankar fought and got himself transfered here from Bangalore. Its like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. But he is lot comfortable here. heat is not the problem, he couldn't take the congestion and traffic jams and more over his car had TN which is a big risk in Bangalore.

The trek was actually not difficult Sangita,
i was very careful while descending which is more difficult on a near vertical slope. Since the toughest part was behind me i got a bit careless and i was more worried about dehydration.

Fear keeps us alive Sangita.
you must have heard of the popular saying 'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread'

Rauf said...

Dear Ruth,
Yes finally,
and i slept the previous night with the idea of aborting it as i was tired of posting depressing blogs and i show myself in a poor light. i don't mean the light in the forest.
All my ugliness came out.

I was proudly telling every one that i have never been to a doctor for past 30 years. Pride was the worst disease that was eating me.
Everything came out.

What am i to this planet ? a burdon. i came here only to go one day. Then why come at all ? my sixty or 80 years were meaningless stay with no purpose. The universe exists for me as long as i live.
the universe ceases to exist. it may continue to exist for others but it is the same for every one. i tried to visualise life without death. i found the whole system crumbling. nothing worked. please try to jot down points. please take your time,
1. no body dies, there are no hospitals and doctors
2. we do not die and we don't work for a living to keep ourselves alive. so on and so forth.
you see the whole system crumbling.
For me death is more important than life. and the will to survive keeps the world in business. philosphies speak about giving up our desires which are the root cause of our misery. but the basic desire is the will to survive. which they completely forgot about.
so here i am blogging, tippity typitting merrily. So i have no option but to join the rat race.
i have no freedom. death is not the door to freedom. we do our best to avoid it. No one is free Ruth. Freedom is an illusion. our life is an illusion. But my bad english and typing goofs is a reality.

Rauf said...

Lees, I love your yikkitty yakkitty
quite a chatter box you are. silly girl !

sorry for my late response. i was busy grabbing some free food. Tamil New year's day and Vishu, kerala new year, lots of yummies went in. Just remember all the John Abrahams of india think from their tummies. Empty tummy makes one a philosopher. We have too many hungry in India, so we have too many philosophers and we export them. So keep your tummy full always forget about staying slim and impressing john Abrahams, mother earth is giving us a lot, so enjoy.

oh dear ! you forgot to wish him a happy new year ?? how silly of you Lees ?? He is a Mallu i hear. Mallu is a keralite who speaks Malayalam.
Reverse MALAYALAM and you get MALAYALAM. How interesting ? Now don't get bright ideas and don't rush to an institute to learn the language. You'll have to install a subtitling machine on your head.

i say the environmentalists are barking at a wrong tree. i have said that in 13 part series on environment a few months ago. We have many problems, damaging the planet and global warming are the least of them. The planet can take care of itself. it has done so in the past.
Global warming is not a result of human greed. The planet is punishing us for our bad attitude.

And Lees, keep nagging me.

Rauf said...

Isabella, i had to write silly comments in your blog so i am back.

i am never without a water bottle Isabella. Since i was going to see a water fall and i could hear the roar of the river from a mile up, i left the water bottle hoping that there would be water everywhere. Usually such places will have springs everywhere and they join the river.

last night my friend Nirmal was narrating some ghost stories, an incident happened to his friend in a cold place called Kodaikanal in south india. All rooms were cold and one room was warm, his friend chose that room and slept there only to hear dogs howling and a ghost of an old man introduced himself.
i said it is hallucination, to which my friend said all rooms cold and that particular room being warm is not hallucination.
My friend's grand daughters were clinging to each other. Girls love ghost stories. They did not like my objections. So when you go on a holiday Isabella take a thermometer with you and check the temprature of all the rooms, if any one of them is warmer than the others don't sleep there.

My hallucination was just hearing my mom calling me, rest is the result of that hallucination.

There has been massive plundering only from past one hundred years.
So the reources are dwindling fast as the demand keeps increasing. The electricity bill shot up in my house after installing Air Conditioners. It has to come from somewhere. We have to work more to meet the rising bills. I don't like ACs, i have slept without ACs all my life and continue to sleep well even without a fan. Its an attitude. i prefer cheapest mode of transport. Little sacrifice on comfort. Now my niece Rubeena is earning well, got a good job, wants to buy a car. There is no space on the roads to drive. The power has to come from somewhere, more demands less resources. We have lot more problems coming up. We need a change of heart, change of attitude on many issues before the resources dry up. Superiority racism is one such issue Isabella.

Ruth said...

Regardless of what a person believes will happen after death – reincarnation, nothingness, or eternal life or death – our life here and now is what matters. If it doesn’t matter, then why be loving, or helpful, or kind?

If we were like the animals, only concerned with survival, there wouldn’t be any complaints about the rat race, about war, about jaded government, about big business. No one would care. But we have conscience, we have decency that comes from somewhere and keeps trying to survive along with ruthlessness. Did Mother Earth give us guardianship of the planet?

We watched “The Pursuit of Happyness” last night, a perfect example of survival. But Will Smith’s character wasn’t just struggling to live. He was trying to achieve success, which he equated with happiness. He wanted freedom from the pain and stress of poverty. But if he became successful, he could possibly also become a slave to business and money. Always a danger. Then maybe his success would be a source of unhappiness.

For me, it’s the ability to reflect on our experience that informs me about deeper meaning. We humans have been infused with some drive beyond mere survival that is powerful.

What changed for you after this experience, rauf? Was everything validated to a deeper degree, seeing death in the face? Your beliefs didn’t change in the essentials, did they?

Rauf said...

Dearest Angeldust,
the dialogue with my mother was a result of very short hallucination.
Perhaps it was just a wake up call.
Yes it was a humbling experience. Nature teaches us bitter lessons too along with pleasant ones.

Rectification has to come at many levels Angel, as long as there is demand there would be plundering and chopping. We are refusing to wake up and demanding more and more comforts.

The ritual of cleaning up the lamps changing of wics used to take a lot of time. Grinding of flour, on stone grinders manually, took lot of our energy and lot of physical activity kept us in shape. Now everything is easy and comfortable, more free time on hand, but we seem to have no time.
TVs are making us go out of shape.
I spend a lot of time in forests with the tribals, so far i have not seen even a single tribal out of shape, they all are slim and active. They use no electricity, no TV, no cars, their children walk for miles up and down to go to school and they learn to tackle wild lifeand the art of survival on the way. Now we go and disturb them and impose our values on them, make them adopt our religion for exchange for some comforts which they don't need. When they get the taste of comforts they want more and give up their life style to earn more paper money and move to the cities looking for labour end up as alcoholics, committing crime, they push their women into prostitution. This has been our influence on them. We invaded their peaceful life. They grow marijuana and sell to buy motorbikes and scooters. Missionaries take 'PITY' on their ignorance and bring them in to their fold offering comforts in exchange, school and school bus for their children. Now the child becomes lazy. thankfully some tribals refused to change and stick to their old ways. We have been giving them dreams which they don't need.

lots of love and hugs Angel.

Rauf said...

Vishesh, Meenmutty is in Wynad Kerala,
spoiling mother nature is the least of the problems

Rauf said...

Protegeoflife, there are many things that we don't know about ourselves. Under different situations our behavior could surprise us. i consider myself to be a peaceful person but at times i found that i can turn pretty nasty and violent.

Rauf said...

Aha FOUR DINNERS, we were reading and commenting each other's page at the same time. I nearly rolled off my chair laughing reading yours.

Yes, we are on the way. No one need destroy us, we are doing it ourselves. We are going to save the trouble of mother earth wiping us off its surface.

Rauf said...

Dear Ruth,
no there has been no change in my beliefs, i mean there has been no addition to zero. Just my uselessness became evident. my ugliness came out. i realised i am also as violent and nasty as others whom i criticise.
Many have claimed to have understood the deeper meaning.
Any use ?
any good ?
all the love compassion is useless to this planet monuments of love like taj mahel is just a burdon nothing else.
It is a programmed robot. 24 hours 365 days, spinning nonstop, not a second more not a second less. I felt that it is something more than that. This robot is capable of thinking acting and punishing.
Just life's coming and going, coming and going generation destruction decay generation again.
Please look from the space Ruth, look down at this planet. You will not see anything but a cycle.
Our expectations as humans are nothing greater than what the earth expects from an amoeba.
there has been no change in the attitude of the amoeba, no change in behaviour, but we humans are different, we have changed. we have deviated from the order. Most significant deviation is superior inferior, contempt, hatred intelligence. If you look from above you'll see that our intelligence is absolutely useless, so is love kindness compassion.

Some where in my Environment series
i said that there is more love compassion and kindness today then there was ever before .I simply hope that it increases and we are able to convince our mother that our attitude is changing, our hearts are changing. We are too small to damage or save the planet.

Rauf said...

Forgot Ruth,
Our massive efforts from past 30 years have not produced any result. the temprature has not dropped even for 0.1 degrees. there should have been a little change. None. Global warming is not a result of human greed. Looks more like a natural phenomenon.

Ruth said...

So tell me if I understand you correctly, rauf. Your point in this blog is that we should wake up and align ourselves with Mother Earth, that is our purpose.

I may not agree with you about efforts to slow global warming (I think we can make a difference, and I don't think a big effort has been made yet), and I don't know what makes you such a loving person in light of what you say, but I have to agree that we have lost our way and why the hell don't we align ourselves with the earth we came from??

So what does drive you to be loving and kind?

Rauf said...

Dear Ruth,
Thank you so much, you really made me think. You have helped me come up with new ideas and new solutions.

yes we have alienated from nature. We have to get back in line.
I have repeated many times in the environment series that we are too small to help or too small to damage and the earth has the capacity to heal itself

But we are not allowing the earth to heal itself

We have not understood global warming at all.
All our efforts to help are going in the wrong direction.
We cannot help Ruth, We have to allow the earth to decide, we cannot decide for the earth. i have discussed with pictures how earth chooses and decides for itself.

Demand for energy has not decreased., it is ever rising. Every thing has to come from nature, including material for nuclear energy. With increasing demand, the resources would dry up even faster. forcing a change of attitude. It would be too late.

The only thing we can do is bring a change of attitude now, change of hearts. this is just the beginning.

Next hundred years will see massive migration when the sea level rises.
Mummy is very smart Ruth, very smart.
it is trying to push us in. Mummy is pushing us to a corner. We will have no option but to abandon the coastal areas and move in, the sea will keep coming in, deserts
will expand. Land area will reduce drastically in 200 years. Then mummy will get us in one blow. This is the only purpose of global warming.

super powers acting as world police directing the world what to do will not work, be it US or China, hoping we don't kill each other by then.
Love compassion kindness will evoporate as the temprature increases and massive migration takes place. There would be forced occupation, it would result in massive bloodshed too. its a question of survival. Weak and poor would perish, rich and
strong would survive a little longer. Genetic engineering will get half of us us by then. I has already started showing the ugly effects.

Any action at the global level would fail. No world police.

efforts have to begin at local levels with women having deciding powers.

women know what sacrifice is. It is men who need comforts, it is men who demand speed.( this is why i chose the title Speed for the environment series Ruth)
i don't see women demanding more and more speed,

women have patience and they have wisdom, they are willing to change.

it is women who can force the men to change their attitude, change of heart.

it is men who created superior and inferior, it is men who created poverty. All this would go if women take up decision making.

You have seen how abandoned areas grow naturally Ruth, without any help. I have the pictures on this subject, forgot the title.

Planned migration would be lot less painful than forced migration.
We have to plan migration now.
All major cities are on the coast. Coastal areas are thickly populated resulting in large scale deforestation.

Abandon 200 kilometers from the coast all over the world. 500 kilometers for larger continents, Australia would be worst affected.

Allow the forest to grow all along the coast all over the world. We'll see the change in just 50 years, temprature would drop and sea level will drop automatically.
which country would agree to this ? We already had warnings.

We have to do it while we have love compassion and kindness, we will not have them hundred years
from now. Migration would be very violent then. just kill and occupy.

We are not helping Ruth, we are just withdrawing and allowing nature to heal itself
It needs change of attitude.

Love for my niece and nephew my family, my friends, my blog friends makes me think Ruth, and i always think what Ruth would say to this. Ah, Ruth would never
miss this picture. I spend a lot of time with the tribals, farmers, how opressed they are, unable to help them, i think for them too. I am sure Bennett would have thought on the same lines.

her indoors said...

words just can't explain how you make me feel Rauf, I so enjoy reading and looking at the photos, I often come back to read it all again, you make me think and you make me feel, thank you

Kathy said...

I'm glad your alive Rauf! What a read! You write well!
I'm depressed ...it's hard to stay upbeat in crazy world we live in. other than that everything fine.

(((Hugs to you)))


Anonymous said...

veryyyyy c-o-o-l posts! it took me awhile to finished reading...and as well as watching those crisps pics...but it's worth the effort! ;;)

umm...you must have so much time in your hands to write such long posts?! i couldn't write like that myself...not even in my wildest dreams! ;))

Rauf said...

HER INNOORS, Thank you for your time and patience. Though we can't do much to fight and we can't fight with our mother which keeps us alive. I think time has come for us to sacrifice our comforts for the sake of younger generation
and we have to guide them and make way to make more sacrifices for their young ones.

Today we have more love compassion and kindness in the world than we had ever before. You feel for the hungry and suffering in a far away lands of Asia and Africa and there are lots of kind people in the world who are helping such poor and suffering which never happened before.
Love kindness and compassion will disappear when things get rough for us. So this is the time to act and we can't wait for any disaster to wake us up.

Rauf said...

Thank you Kathy, It is not my intention to depress my readers but i can't paint any rosy picture as well. This is the beginning of the process of human extinction.
In few words, planet warms up, sea level rises, mass migration of people away from coasts. Deserts expand We are pushed to a corner. this is a slow process, it may take three to five hundred years.
Right now we are taking wrong steps in tackling global warming.
like creating artificial forests, planting of trees. No steps are taken in reducing the use of energy and digging up the resources.
global warming is not a reslut of human greed. Mother earth is not happy with our attitude. We humans have proved to be a mistake.
First comes change of attitude. then We allow the earth to heal itself by withdrawing ourselves.
Which means give back the land we have taken, abandon abandon abandon and allow it to grow, let nature decide how it should grow, that is not our business.

I'll have a post on the solutions. i had already posted some in the last post on environment series in January.
love and hugs Kathy, hope you Richard and Marcey are doing fine.

Rauf said...

aha Shimmer, How sweet of you. i do not know about US, Here,examination of big and small classes are over, middle classes are going on. you must be having spring break. Please focus on your studies and make your parents proud. Please don't spend too much time on the computer unless it has something to do with your studies, you need a lot of out door activity as well. lot of fresh air. I find children of your age spending too much time on the computer which is not healthy. This is the time you simply obey your parents, what ever they say is for your good. You may not agree with them, even I did not agree with my parents.

thank you Shimmer for taking time to read this, yes i have time, i spend a lot of time to think. Writing doesn't take much time. We have to create time to do things what we love to do. not many people have time to read such a long post and long comments.
I have already written 13 posts on environment SPEED 1 to 13
i'll try to explain briefly in my next post.

I have posted pictures of life in india in Streets of Banaras and Banaras the holy city, please see the pictures in your holidays and please don't waste your time reading it. it will take a while for the pictures to load. i'll tell you more about our culture in future posts. But your first priority is your school.
lots of love shimmer, enjoy the spring, if it is bright and sunny go out and enjoy every minute.

Rose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rose said...

Incredible lesson for mankind.. Invokes nothing less than a change of heart..



Rauf said...

Rose, yes, we need a change of attitude, thank you so much for your time and patience. I have already come up with solutions in january post, i am beginning to understand our problems, i'll have it in my next post

Anonymous said...

i think i was here at your blog a few days back,had started readin ur post,but then,my conection got cut,and then i gues i didint come back and so ws pleasantly surprised to see ur comment back at my blog :D! thank u for that :D!
and it took me a while to finish readin this post,but it ws touching,i could feel all those breathin and panting :D but then,i loveed the pics and happy to read til the end.......

the world turns mmore cruel withh eaach passing day, everything hasbecome kinda norm thesedays that nobody cares anymore..its sad....
keeping hopes high though,wish upon the shooting stars might be heaard oneday.....

Rauf said...

Hi Shammu, how are you ?
Have you been to Wynad ? its a beautiful place. This waterfall is in Wynad.

You write very well Shammu, you have a thought provoking blog yourself. i need inputs from young minds like you, you are the future of this planet.
please think of solutions, how you think we should tackle global warming.. I have written a 13 part series on environment, titled SPEED 1 to 13, offered some solutions in january post 'SPEED 13-Environment- Final say' in january this year.
hope you are having a good time in qatar

Half the posts in this blog are about kerala. I'll be going there again this month to Silent valley
I love the food.

The Visitor said...

Hello Mr. Rauf,
Quite some time back I had visited your blog and had planned to do a post on photoblogs. I had shelved the idea temporarily, and unfortunately I had forgotten your URL.
Recently I found your URL at Vishesh's blog. I have used one of your photos in a post that links to your blog. If you have any objections, I will readily remove it. See the post here - Rauf's photoblog

Rauf said...

The visitor, i have absolutely no objections, any one can use my pictures without seeking my permission. But this is not a photo blog. i post relevant pictures of the subject i discuss on this blog.

The Visitor said...

Thank you Mr Rauf :)

Rauf said...

You are welcome Visitor, by the way i am discussing a subject here.

The visitor said...

A gripping account, to say the least!
Will come back after reading the other comments. :)

Premalatha said...

WOW (text and photos)

thank you visitor for the pointer.

Rauf said...

thank you Premlata

Rauf said...

Take your time The Visitor

Dawn....सेहर said...

Quite a big one yet interesting :) your blog is cool too!
Thanks for visiting...do come again!
I liked the name Raufaan :)


Sharad Mathur said...

good work.
i wil b bak for reading yr other posts too.


Rauf said...

Thank you Seher, Seher is my cousin

Rauf said...

Thank you Sharad Mathur

priya said...

Rauf: Problems are everywhere and without it we cannot live isn't it. Nice waterfall pics ther.

Rauf said...

Thank you Priya

david santos said...

Thanks for you work, is very good and very nice.
Have a good weekend

Rauf said...

David Santos, you are a spam

Lord Boo said...

Silly silly poms ! i was so shaken as i read this blog, why on earth didn't you tell me about this before ?! i was so upset after reading this. Don't want to lose you because of your silly antics ! I wanted to cuff you behind your ears as i was reading, and yet ivwanted to give you bear hug for coming back alive ! don't ever do stupid things like that again; there are many people out there who love you too much to lose you in such a fashion. Take care poms, missing you *hugs*

Rauf said...

Aiyoo ummmma dee sweet booey, i didn't tell you bikkaas you'll call me and yell at me.
ten thousand ummmmmmmmmas
Love you so much reeee

Lisa Francisco said...

Hey there!

Interesting comment you left there! You're quite imaginative! Thanks for stopping by! Fyi, you need to post something real soon!


Rauf said...

Lees ! oweee Hit F5 or refresh button on your explorer
There is a new post
But not a happy pne
I will not depress you for a while
next post is a story

Moi said...

read this post and ur new post one after the other.......they are so bleak, rauf..i know it's a beautiful planet, i know we r greedy , i know we r doing wrongs to what we love to call Mother earth, i know we are too small in the big scheme of things.....where do we go from here, Rauf??? I beleive in recycling...i try and use qas li'l as of those plastic bags, i write all my notes in used paper ..out here in US, people print only on one side of paper, so i have tons of used paper to write my notes on, I will buy a hybrid car when i do ...i'll try and raise environment -conscious kids when and i i have any......i dont use paper towels in my kitchen ....but if that's not enough on my part....what more do/should i do???

Rauf said...

Moi, these are the steps suggested by the environmentalists. They have been barking at the wrong tree. The steps you have mentioned don't take us back in line with nature. They don't help one bit. Pollution and draining of resources is not a problem for the earth. It is a problem for us.
We are trying to solve our own problems not the earth's problems.
The earth's problem is us, our attitude our arrogance. This has to change first. Humans are the earth's pain. And global warming is the first step the earth is taking to rid of its pain. If you have time please read the debate, here, next post, and a marathon 13 part series SPEED 1 to 13 A few months ago. Its going to take a while.

Rauf said...

you asked what more should i do ?
We can't do anything. We are going.

fotomurthy said...

hi rauf
interesting write-up here again
Mother Earth - Alive, was really offbeat
pretty much like a crisp - short film

boy, i adore ur sarcasms and upside-down humor too

the last time i met asokan, we both collectively agreed, that u are too eccentric for ur age

hoping to meet u soon
take good care
good life


Anonymous said...

I confirm. It was and with me. Let's discuss this question.

Anonymous said...

In my opinion you are mistaken. Let's discuss.

Shamantra said...

Oh my! I only just found this post. Brilliant. My heart was in my throat reading your account. Blessings.