Its not a good picture, Her face tells a story
It is not a happy story
i don't bow to anything, or any one. But i bow my head to a mother
i would touch their feet and then i would pick up a fight.
Her expression would be lot different had there been a boy child on her lap.
This lady can be happy if she wants, with a slight shift in attitude.
Motherhood is in their blood, it begins at an early age. Girls play with dolls, playing mother.
Motherhood is sacred, this is something everybody accepts. Do we ?
They take risks and they have the courage and they are emotionally very strong. But they make wrong choices. The attitude of the society is very sick
There are different societies at different levels. The poor class have their own society, the middle class and the upper have their own. They don't mix.
Class, what a tragedy !
The untouchables have their own, surprisingly higher and lower among themselves.
Higher or lower, any class, rich or poor, Hindu Muslim or Christian,
they all prefer a boy child.
There is some kind of a pride in mothers when they flaunt their boy child.
Silly actually, if you ask me. Lavish post delivery celebrations, birthdays and other religious rituals thanking gods for having given a boy child.
The trend in my immediate family goes in reverse. Boys get new clothes and some money and they disappear. Birthdays of girls are a big celebration, they make lot of noise, silly girls.
The wife is under enormous pressure until she brings a boy child in to the family.
If the she fails, the husband re marries, there have been many cases of murder, or suicide,
alone or they die with their daughters.
She is happy with her girl. And they are proud of the daughters. Many have the right attitude and treat the girl child as a blessing from gods. But not all.
The demand for a boy child mostly, mostly comes from women themselves.. They are obsessed with having a boy in the house. It comes from mothers whom i respect.
May God bless you with a son
Excuse me ? ..... Hellow ! WHATT ??
Somebody's arm touches my shoulder, rauf, lets go and eat, they pull me away
Sometimes i say God bless you with a daughter
or they all laugh
'hahaha rauf unkill, you said God bless you' 'seeee you believe in Gaad'
its just an expression you idiot, i tell the bride.
i know many happy families where all three children are girls, all with very understanding and loving dads who have kept their wives very happy and i know a couple of families where all five are girls, chaotic, throwing things at each other, tearing each other's books, but all happy moms and dads.
oh i loved the movie 'little women' five sisters, with Susan Sarandon as mom, Gorgeous Trini Alverado the oldest, Next was Winona Ryder, i always wanted to have a daughter like Winona. Then Samantha Mathis, Claire Danes and Kirsten Dunst plays the youngest.
Priorities change when there is a boy in the family. This is Vasini and her younger brother, i wrote about her, how adorable she was, in the Banaras post. Forgot the name of the boy.
i told the mom that you are treating your daughter badly. Your son is being unreasonable and you end up punishing Vasini for no fault of hers.
i didn't fight or shout like i normally do, i told her gently.
oh he is just a child she said
Vasini is a child too, why are you treating her like an adult and punishing her, you are being grossly unfair to her.
She was a sweet lady, 2 day journey and i am very clumsy and all my things were scattered and she was managing them putting my things in order besides giving me all the goodies she was carrying. Actually it was little Vasini who was playing my mother.
This kind of gender bias is commonly found here in India and little Vasini will grow up with inferority and sadness in her heart.
Gender bias and the demand for male child is so much that some take the extreme steps of female infanticide. No mother would like to kill her unborn child.
Mostly they are pushed by women themselves. Mothers in law in such cases. Sometimes by their own mothers as they want their married daughters to lead a peaceful life by bringing only male child to the family, the truth is, they don't want their daughter to come back. A married daughter back home is treated as burden. She ceases to exist, she is a living corpse.
Please read ABHI's stunning post on this subject, she gives staggering facts and figures about female infanticide.
Thank you Abhi, for all the pains you have taken in gathering the information in your passionately written post, which inspired me to write this one.
i hang my head in shame.
Though gender determination clinics are outlawed by the government, the practice has not stopped. When something is outlawed, its milk and honey for the officials and the cops. Like banning liquor in a state, people continue to drink, they know where to get liquor from and the officials and cops make money. Such clinics function under the blessings of highly placed officials and the cops.
You may not find sign boards like
GENDER DETERMINATION CLINIC
KILL YOUR DAUGHTERS HERE
It becomes an expensive affair to kill the unborn female child. Sadly, it the educated who take such shameful steps.
They are not ignorant people. They know where to go.
They do not know what they are missing.
They do not know what they are doing.
More than being a moral and social issue, this is an environmental disaster.
Imagine all these girls wiped out. What a disaster it would be. There are clinics who are helping such people. We have a hospital market here. Human organ market. You can buy anything. These doctors will not hesitate to do anything for money. They can steal your kidneys and they can steal your heart. i am not talking about dashing George Clooney, or Hugh Grant stealing your heart, i mean the doctors who steal your heart right out of your ribs and declare you dead.
We have ultra sonic labs nearly in every street, but disclosing the gender is made a punishable offence. There are loop holes everywhere and the subsequent procedure is easy but expensive.
Only middle class or upper class can afford it.
Thankfully, the poor class cannot afford it. They live with the pressure of having a girl child, Which leads to their self inflicted misery, like the woman in the first picture. The idea of a girl child bringing misery is pretty absurd, as they contribute in running of the household and they bring in money as well. It is the other women who make their life miserable, in some cases their husbands.
it is difficult to understand why a girl child is considered a burden. These women work themseves to death, there is no relief for them, girls normally share their burden.
Poor or rich, educated or ignorant, Hindus, Muslims or Christians, the very thought of the girl's marriage is a nightmare for them. i don't see any other reason for their misery and obsession for a boy child. They may hope that the boy would soon be an earning member of the family. This is pretty absurd as well.
Wedding of a girl is not always a happy occasion. By tradition girl's parents are the victims.
They can't sleep when the girl grows up, (they don't wait that long)
Fear of the girl falling in love with a boy of different community haunts them or with a boy of a lower caste. Boy is free to paint the town red but these misguided people think that it is always the girl who brings shame or dishonour to the family.
Huge expenses are involved in a wedding, demand for dowry, depending on the status of the boy, runs to staggering amounts, which the girl's father has to borrow and get in to an eternal debt. This is another social evil crippling the country. And not to mention the obsession for gold which is uniform in all Indian societies. So there is a fear of loss here.
Girl is a loss and boy is profit as he brings in the dowry.
In other words, they kill the girl for the fear of loss. This fear cannot be erased from their minds.
It just takes a little shift in attitude. A girl is a blessing. i am in a great mood the day my niece is at home. All they have to do is ignore what other people say. Never feel the pressure of bringing a boy child. Boy or a girl, they should be thankful for attaining sacred motherhood. And the bias is something they should get rid of. Change in attitude is simple. But they don't understand.
i am against the obsession for a boy child, i am not against boys.
Remember these little girls from Pochampalli, the cleanest village ? Class room in a temple ?
Educating the girl is one big issue. Poor class don't want to waste their money in educating girls.
They prefer to educate only boys. This is investment.
What will she do with a degree ? Let her learn to cook instead.
The tribals don't have such hang ups.
Tribal women are quite powerful and authoritative. They understand how to maintain the balance. They treat the girl child with equal importance. Their priests are pretty silly though. Big yerdake they are. Demand animal sacrifices and all. Idiots. Tribals have silly beliefs but they are all environmentally conscious. killing a girl child is an absurd idea for them.
We do not know what we are missing, we are still not aware of our loss.
Thankfully, thankfully, the poor people in Indian villages can't afford the procedure. You can imagine the disaster of having less women in the villages.
Except for tilling and other heavy work, 90% of farm work is done by women. They work themselves to death so that we could survive.
This is the beauty of the purest kind. Ruth loves this girl. i am posting her pictures for you Ruth.
You would have seen some of the pictures either in 'thank you farmers' or in 'The poison - Globalisation' posts.
i drag my friends to this village. i forgot her name. Last month i went with Sujith and Ramesh, i frantically went searching for her.
i couldn't find her.
Here she is helping her mother and grand mother.
Three generations here in this picture.
Just erase them in your mind and you can visualise the disaster we have on our hands.
ah ! end of the day she is so tired, dust on her face grain in her hair. i have no command over the language, i am not a poet. i would have loved to compose a poem on her.
It is impossible for me to imagine that these women cease to exist.
When they go, we all go.
We are chopping our own legs,
i think we are asking for our extinction.
oh what a joy and what a blessing she is, This is Priyanka, our future, our saviour.
India has been invaded repeatedly for our fertile lands, abundance of water and 365 days of sunshine. With all the atrocities on women, dowry deaths and female infanticide we still remain in dark ages
There is no light here.
Labels: female infanticide, gender bias