14 May 2006


This is Anju my friend and her son kyle, happy isn't she ? Sweet thing she is. Simply adorable.


All mothers are happy but we make them unhappy. Writing about mothers is a silly thing. We all love our mothers, I am writing without thinking. I don't have to think to write about my mother or all mothers of this world. Then one day the whole world becomes empty and you are alone when you realise you have lost your mother.
We never realise until then, that mother was our best friend.

When we make them unhappy, we don't realise for one second what they have been through raising us, protecting us. The first priority of any mother is to protect her child, nothing comes before that

She'll kill you if you go near her child. She'll kill you.

I am too angry to cry.
We don't know what a sacrifice is
Ask a mother what sacrifice is
No, she won't tell us
and we'll never know.
she keeps it to herself.

This is Jayam, My friend Ramesh's sister, daughter Rachel.
Rachel now is in her school final. Met Jayam and Rachel a couple of weeks ago after a long time

Ah ! Chubbanna, my friend Suba, I am the punching bag for her, kicks me all the time, we have trekked together, but that was long before her marriage. Aditya is 10 now. second son Akkuna matata, thats what I call him is 6. I see her efforts and sacrifices in bringing up her children.

Happy mother and daughter selling bangles in Jodhpur Rajasthan. She'll do anything for the survival of her children.

Mother Earth
Mother Nature
Mother Country
Mother tongue
I repeat this every time in blogs or in comments
nobody asks you what your father tongue is
What your mother speaks ..you speak. Natural.
what a silly question.
Every one accepts the primary role of a mother. Mother is supreme. Mother is god or next to god. We just accept but they don't get their due.
Remember, god has not sacrificed anything.
Your mom did.

Some relief here, a little bit.
According to Islam, paradise lies under your mother's feet. Those are just words which are often not followed.

No Religion accepts that it is the females, of all species who hold the planet together. Its the females who shoulder the responsibility of keeping this planet in one piece.
A fact ignored by all major religions.

No, she is not performing the balancing act. She has to walk for miles,
yes for miles to get one pot of water in the desert of Rajasthan. polluted or clean, she has no choice. She has to walk for her family, for her children, she seems to be enjoying it.
She is happy, and so is this lady.

All mothers enjoy their motherhood. Its our bad attitude which makes them miserable. This lady could be a good artist, most of them are, but they have no time for it, nor any energy left. All her energy is directed towards protection and survival of her children.
So don't ask her about sacrifices. She'll break the pot on your head. DHOINK !!

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Blunt Knife
Photography and Travel Blog


Ruth said...

Great post, Rauf. I feel bad to agree with you. :) When we lived in Istanbul, we always thought if the women were running Turkey, it would be better a more efficient place. Could be true everywhere. Here is a little Billy Collins poem that I like: http://home.cinci.rr.com/iwishiwerebuffy/poetry.htm

Rauf said...

Why do you feel bad to agree with me ?
I was born in a forest (its no longer there) and I spend a lot of time in different forests. This is what I have observed. It is the female species which is in total control. Nature has given the responsibility of running the planet to the female species, and they are running it well.

Women will not waste their time digging oil, they will grow more food. They are more practical.
Its men who went after oil and luxury, and damaged the planet, which women have to repair like they always do.

Hope you are enjoying every minute of your holiday Ruth.

chinna said...

some of them look so young - they'll also age before their time.

Rauf said...

constant struggle for survival, poverty takes its toll Chinna.

Cari said...

I never realized the strength my mom had until I became a mother

I miss her so much

It has been years since we have hugged each other last

I think the time we have spent apart has been for a very good reason

To appreciate who the other is as a woman

To respect what the other does as a mother

To love the other no matter how big our differences are

Because we have been there for each other through thick and thin. :}

Cari said...

Thanks so much for the email Rauf

It was very nice.

Rauf said...

Good that you realised it early Caroline. That would help you to be a best mom in the world for your children. I know you would be one.

Leila said...

"The divine female"...
Dan Brown was right.

I have thought these thoughts myself when I hurt my mother. When I hurt my mother I feel I am not worthy of living - for I owe even that to her.

I would do anything for my mother.

Rauf said...

The topic is too emotional for me Laila. I had to defend my mom and 2 sisters from the mental torture of my father, I couldn't see tears in my mom and sister's eyes. I was still in school when i took the matters in my hands and started terrorising my father, Which hurt my mother very much. In India atrocities of the male member is taken as a way of life. worst thing was my father never had any bad habbits. To become a big man I started smoking, which hurt my mom further. gave up faith, mom had to face criticism of having a faithless and aimless son. In the end my mom surprised me by saying perhaps he understands better.
She died in my arms, I saw the last breath going. it is still in my eyes.

Leila said...

She was not the only one your father's atrocious behaviour affected, I'm sure.

I'm sorry Rauf, it must be the hardest thing to deal with, but thank god you were with her at the end.

e2d said...

Beautiful mothers and beautiful post Rauf...and I like to agree with Chinna. Some of them are so young and I wonder how they really feel about their life.
Also its great to appreciate mothers and motherhood and all the silent sacrifices they make. But I like to ask... why don’t we dare ask our mothers what they want? What are their dreams and aspirations? It almost seem like we expect her to make sacrifices. Especially in our country , as u said, there are mothers who suppress everything for the sake of their family and hardly anybody appreciates them for that. But even if we do appreciate I seriously wonder if she cares. I mean what is she really getting out of all the appreciation? Motivation to make more sacrifices and suppress more of her dreams? Not saying recognition or appreciation is completely useless but…..
Sometimes society behaves in such a funny manner. All these Happy Mothers Day , Happy Fathers Day , Happy Valentines day, Happy Independence Day—well almost all “Happy Days” seem like we are celebrating hypocrisy.
U mentioned how according to Islam paradise lies under the mother’s feet. The same Islam seems to be the cause of terrible pain and suffering to many of the mothers in this world. I didn’t mean any disrespect towards the faith but just stating the apparent.Maybe I am wrong in my thinking.I dont know.

I know this comment is bit of a downer—sorry about that.

Rauf said...

I have seen such atrocities Laila, in my house and elsewhere, If I interfere I don't get any support from the mothers themselves, like my mom never supported me, I had the support of my sisters though. I got them married without any help from my father, He did not attend my older sister's wedding, I told him to take a hike, I'll get her married. I was still at college. All my friends helped me on the day of wedding. Mom used to beg me to respect father and not to be rough on him. They take it as fate and the way of life

Rauf said...

The post itself is a downer e2dees.

Girls grow up reading in holy scriptures ' serve your man, you serve God'

Pretty disgusted I was, I was afraid I would become like my father. I did not want to get married.

e2dees please look for my old post with a title 'sorry girls I made a mistake' You don't know how lazy I am. should be November December 2005.

not just Islam, all major religions give women a raw deal.
they are all bound by faith
'serve your man you serve God'
Case closed. They don't want equal rights. they don't want to have dreams. situation is pretty bad in Islamic countries. They refuse to wake up. they don't want anything just peace and health of the family. They never come out with what they want. I got my mom a TV after my father's death. There were no colour TVs then. Until then the idea of entertainment never occured to her. My father's atrocities were not her problem, it was the way of life for her.
I was her problem. I was her head ache not my father.
my attitude towards my father and faith hurt her very much. there was no physical torture though. Until her death we never knew what she really wanted in her life. She sacrificed everything for the fsmily. I decided not to go abroad to earn money wanted to be with her with what ever little I could earn.

Candy Minx said...

Amazing photos and commentary...as usual! wow, very ehavy.

We treat mother earth with the same respect we treat women and mothers. Oh dear.

I took a workshop once for working mothers...and it was amazing the way these women put themselves very last in the family. Last to have shower, wash hair, eat breakfast...running all day. I have met women, who work all day, get the kids, make meals, then clean for two hours late at night...make lunches for kids and husband, three children, in Canada...husband helps too, but woman goes to bed two three hours later than husband back up early washing dishes, floors vaccuuming. One woman Nadia I worked with, she was beautiful nails and hair. All this and gorgeous!

Then in workshop we had to write a list of what defined a mother to us...it was crazy...impossible to live up to. We wrote what a mother should be liek, the list was ridiculous! Ever seen a mother get a cold...compared to amna, she doesn't even blow her nose LAST!! ha ha

In many ways...this shouldn't be a SAD post of Rauf's...it is humbling to those of us looking to see how much energy the human heart and body can excersice.

We should all have long wonderful rich days like a mother does...SEEING everything!

Some women have so much energy!!!

Rauf said...

Mothers have extra eyes Candy.
they have x ray units fitted to their eyes.
My mom used to scold me for wasting my money buying records, she never objected to western music but she objected to all the Beatles posters on my walls. she said its a devil's hangout. She knew absolutely nothing about western music. When ever I bought a new album, i used to hide it, tip toe into my house and enter very late hoping mom would have gone to sleep. she never slept before I ate. Next morning
I would play the record as usual and have coffee. Aha ! you bought a new record. oh dear how did she know ?? you have never played this record before. this was puzzling me because she never said the same when ever I played records borrowed from friends. perhaps she would study my body language and found out that I have done something wrong.

Don Iannone said...

What an extraordinary seies! A prize winner in my book. These images evolke powerful emotion. Thank you for sharing them!

Heather said...

Such beautiful people

Rauf said...

yes Heather, they know how to keep themselves happy.

Rauf said...

Thanks Don, In my opinion, females of all the species have the capacity to repair the damage by their sheer attitude. Regardless of the atrocities by their males their prime concern is to hold the family together and keep the planet in one piece. They are willing to shoulder all the burdon and endure all the pain in the process. their perspective of the nature is completely different from the males

Lord Boo said...

what a lovely blog, Poms ( though not the best for me to read.. made me miss ammi even more.. ) can't write much; vision is blurred. Love you

Rauf said...

She's always there for you boo, you will feel her love everywhere even if you go to planet mars.
love you too boo

wildpic said...

happy mothers day ! nothing else to say rauf ... may be i'll try to forget her only on this day !

Rauf said...

This day or any day we can't forget them Suresh

Sangita said...

long time since came to Daylight..So many updates..Loved the mother's day section and I forgot to wish my mother :-(

That is the disadvantage of not wathicn much tv and no access to net..feel so disconnected..

Rauf said...

No worries Sangita, every day is mother's day, You can wish your mom anytime you feel like. Doesn't make much sense any way as we have to wish them thank them for every breath we take.

You are in the heart internet. Lord Boo is in england, she has net in the air, no wires and chords. I mean she takes her lapeetopee to the kitchen and she can send a mail from her toilet.

rachel said...

I am not a "mother," although I have recently acquired two step-children that I love very much. Sometimes I am struck with a feeling of horror at not having given birth to a child. Why? I ask myself. What do I fear? Do we live on through our children? When I die, if I have not a child, will I cease to exist? And then I think, of course not. But still, this thought haunts me. It is not the mothering I want, but the satisfaction of living after death.

Rauf said...

No Rachel, you don't cease to exist. I have no children of my own, I am not married, Still there are many children who treat me as their father and give love and respect. I am not missing anything, like not being a father of my own children.

You have nothing to fear Rachel. You don't have to be a mother to extend your love, share joy and sorrow. A mother is all giving, nothing can stop you from giving your time love and energy to those who need and you wold be remembered for your giving nature for your love. To be remembered sould not be your motive of sharing your love pain sorrow or joy. Being a mother is a spiritual feeling. You don't have to give birth to feel like a mother.

I am sorry for late response Rachel, I was away for nearly ten days

rachel said...

I enjoyed your rain pictures- I like to see the world reflected in the drops.

I live in the desert, in Arizona. It only rains a few times a year. These pictures are refreshing.

What you say is true about being a mother. There has to be something special about not being a mother, too. I wonder what it is.