5 May 2007


Yea, i have enough money, but i don't like to travel by bus
i was planning to get back home, had no reservation for any train
i was sitting in a house in the wilderness and thinking of returning home.
No clear plans, wanted to go to Pyyannur too, way up north of Kerala
Late in the evening, all i hear is the noises of the insects.
Some one comes running and talks to my host in Malayalam, all excited

There is sudden activity in the house.
i don't pay any attention, i am in my own world

Let me go to Shornur, i have many options from there, many trains
Have to leave very early in the morning

i see my host standing right infront of me, i see him, for me he is transparent

God has appeared in a house we are going there please come with us.

Let me go to Shornur and decide where to go.
Besides there is a beautiful girl at the ticket counter in Shornur station
she is always so helpful, so kind and gives me so many options, she always has time for me.

Gode has appeared in a house

huh ? God ? Where ?

Gode Gode has appeared we are going to see a MIRAAKKAL

Miracle ? what miracle What ? Where ?

Their driver who has already witnessed the miracle explains in Malayalam
There is a picture of DEIVAM (God) next to it a shadow of DEIVAM has appeared

i must go to Shornur station. This time i'll ask her name, she is an asset to the railways

My host's son now comes and tells me

'uncle Gode has appeared in a house we are going there please come with us'

they are all very excited, running up and down

Gode ? what God ?

yes Jesus Christ uncle

Hope she is not transfered to some other station, so lovely she is, may not be a stunning movie star, geeky, face full of pimples wearing thick spectacles, but she is
beautiful to me. She is so lovely that i would like to dance with her, How can i dance
with her with a keyboard glued to her hands ?

Uncle please come with us uncle we are leaving now

i'll ask for her email ID, she would definitely give, very sweet she is, she must be having an email ID, geeky she looks.

Uncle please come, its just 3 kilometers from here.

No, Sherjee, please go let me stay here.

I did not tell them that i am not interested in miracles and Gods,
Very sincere and hard working boy Sherjee is, i like him very much.
i was feeling so lazy that no one, not even Mark Knopfler can make me get up.
Just had black tea (Kattan Chaaya) and had a smoke.

uncle please take the camera

i scratched my head and scratched my beard

they are not giving me any options,

My hosts are very sweet people
i took one camera, hoping that Jesus is not camera shy,

actually i was a bit nervous too,
what if Jesus disappears the moment i walk in, every one would pounce on me,
i can irritate Jesus or God so easily just by my presence.
i am such a pain.
i'll get bashed up by the mob. i had to think of my personal safety too, can't depend on God to save me. He will not.

I was disappointed when we hit the road, no one there, i was expecting a traffic jam in the wilderness. i was expecting a huge crowd moving in one direction wearing long robes singing hymns carrying torches, fire torches not battery torches, walking
through the desert to meet God, with John williams orchestra plying in the background just like the movies, Ben Hur, Ten commandments.

What if God slaps another 40 commandments on me ?

i became Charlton Heston approaching God

Gaad !

Hi Charlie How you've been ? You look rotten, been smoking too much ?

Yes Gaad ! i say scartching my beard, what Gaad, why you chose to appear now ? we are already having too much of confusion here.

That is why I have some more commandments, Here you are Charlie ! another 40 commandments for you

What ? FORTTTEE ? You serious Gaad ?

Yes I am

You mean ten plus forty now ? that makes eh fifty right ?

yes fifty commandments, there is so much chaos in the world

What language is this Gaad ?

Hebrew you idiot.

oh Gaad !

what ?

i said oh Gaad, Gaad, its an expression
Gaad ! where are you ? Put this in English

Here you are ! in English. You not goin to read it ?

People will read and tell me Gaad

Lazy as ever
Read commandment number 23

Its so heavy, can't lift one tablet Gaad ! you are giving four
you can't do this, you can't do this to me Gaad

Moses never complained, read it

thou shall not smoke in public places ??
you are so unfair Gaad
i am not carrying this, they are too heavy reduce the commandments, delete a few, the smoking one,
Can't you write this down on a piece of paper Gaad ? or give them in a book form.

my hand writing is not good you idiot,

your handwriting is not good ? You are Gaad !

more over people will not believe you if you show them my commandments on a piece of paper, and an idiot like you will lose the paper before you reach home.

just mail them to me Gaad, i'll forward them to my friends and like a virus it will spread the world within 24 hours, your original 10 commandments have not reached people even after 3000 years.

just look at the world now.

My commandments are not a virus you idiot

i said they will spread like a virus i did not say they ARE a virus, you going deaf Gaad ?

no wonder you can't hear bombs falling on innocent people and you are turning blind too. Why me Gaad ?

Because you are a moron, i need non believers like you, you people are keeping my name alive and giving me free publicity, do you know how much it costs to advertise ? ooof ! its so expensive, more over for your information i am broke

you broke Gaad ?

yes, your economy has made me so poor.

i have 500 rupees Gaad, my ticket is only 250 i can lend you 300 you can pay me back later

thats why i chose you, you can't even count

i failed in Maths Gaad

Where are the environmental commandments ?

what environmental commandments ?

about saving the earth

there are none

these commandments are useless then

some nerve you have, Moses never told me that they were useless

i can't even count how many planets and stars i have made, now go don't waste my time
you irritate me by asking stupid questions, get out of here, i'll give these to some one else
and stop peddling guns you moron.

first, these tablets are too heavy, i have no money to pay for excess luggage, the porters will fleece me and the autorickshaw guys will rip me. thank you Gaad, please give them to some one else.

Gaad ! Gaad !
No answer

So We are going to see God and watch a miracle

i could see the pot holes on the road

the car was moving very slow
No one on the road
not even a crow.
not even a cow
If God really appeared would the cows be interested in meeting Him ?
i think they wouldn't bother.
they'll go after green green grass.
but we are intelligent
that is why we were going.

The chap who had already seen the miracle was guiding us
Dark and no street lights, actually i did not see where i was.
still no one.
We reached the house on the dirt road,
lots of trees
A poor man's house, no electricity, no furniture
Few people were walking out, saying there is no miracle
i walked in with the family of my host

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some more people were inside
just below the picture of Jesus Christ they had lit a deepam (oil lamp)
there was a plate with coins and some ten rupee notes
every one was looking at the wall
i also looked
oh yes there is a figure on the wall

where ?

here uncle here

still i couldn't see anything.
i have slow understanding, very slow, less than a cow's

can't you see uncle, here,
there is a figure here

honestly i have never been ashamed of being very dumb.

please take a picture uncle

picture of what ?

Then i saw the figure
figure of Jesus christ looking down.
i knew what it was.

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standing right there people were discussing

'it is just moisture which has taken such a shape'

i did not like such discussion being taken place in the house
i kept quite

i would be the first person to prove that it is not a miracle
Situation was different here

these were innocent believers
they are not cheating any one

no priest there
the priest would have said

'how Jesus can ignore me and appear in a poor man's house ? Even he would have tried to prove that it was not a miracle.

why should i prove or discuss and tell them that it is not a miracle,
poor people, they believed sincerely that Jesus has appeared in their house
so be it.

End of story
i felt sad

The house was dark
a couple of kids playing on the floor
they looked like sincere people,
i shouldn't hurt them saying this is not Jesus

i quietly put ten rupees in the plate
the entire collection would hardly come to one dollar.
The family was looking at me
i took pictures

my taking pictures was important to them
i should not forget to send them a copy

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it was dark, no electric light
i had to fire the flash
like a damn fool i kept it in red eye correction
red eye correction for Jesus ?
the flash went in rapid fire mode
i was feeling miserable with the attitude of people there
i shook hands with one member of that family and came out without a word.


vishesh said...

do you really smoke??truth fully i don't like people who smoke because i am allergic to the tobacco smell....

anyway what are the ten commandments ?? i keep hearing about it...but never bothered tofind out what it is....

it is a miracle...you will ask why??it is a miracle for you...it will have a meaning to you..to your life....i know i am just a small boy....if you had seen a shape then it has a meaning...god either exists every where or he doesn't......frankly i didn't see anything....it means it is a illusion your mind created for you....

are you a chain smoker??

Rauf said...

Hi Vishesh, yes really, i smoke. i understand your dislike for people who smoke. yes i smoke a lot but not a chain smoker.

I want my blog friends to know who and what i am. i don't like to present myself as a saint. In my various blogs you'll find me accepting my weaknesses my shortcomings, my lack of wisdom and intelligence.

Ten commandments are believed to be handed down by God to Prophet Moses at Mount Sinai. Roughly they are a set of rules for humans to lead a good life. You find them in the Old Testament. Please check Wikipedia for more information.

You are very young Vishesh, i would advise you to know more about other faiths when ever you find time.

i don't say that was a miracle, what i said was i wouldn't disturb the belief of innocent people by trying to prove that it is not a miracle. This is unethical. for me this was not an illusion. i could clearly see the figure and so did the others.

"Angeldust" said...

Raufie dear
I like the writing as much as the pics.

As for miracles?
They are nota s rare as we think - they are every day occcurences, we just dismiss them as unimportant.

You know so well my dear friend tha beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that we all create our own reality based on our onw unique perception.

The watermark on the wall clearly shows an image of Jesus - wonderful of you not to argue the matter scientifically.

As for the 23rd commandment - NO SMOKING for you sir!

Lots of love and hugs

Ruth said...

Why is pipe smoking more acceptable than cigarettes? I don't know, but I know I view it differently. I also know it is still unhealthy for you. But each of us chooses our life.

I saw the image on the wall. I like what Angel wrote, we all create our world, our reality.

Beliefs are a creation out of fear, the need for security. People are afraid of being their own authority, of choosing and being comfortable with those choices. It was kind that you did not argue with them. What good would it do anyway.

Genorosity of spirit. Thanks, rauf.

Rauf said...

Hi Dearest Angel,

Yes there are strange occurances every day, i knew what was happening here but chose to remain silent. no point in hurting their sentiments. Sometimes i object like animal sacrifices. i fight.
there is necessary killing and unnecessary killing, we have to differentiate. i object to vegetarianism too.
i get hundreds of pictures of miracles, hundreds of forwards which end with me, i don't forward them to any one. i ask them only one thing, why God is resorting to special effects ?

i don't defend my smoking Angel, i smoke only when i am alone, never in the company of children, away from non smokers. Still there are people who are praying for me to stop smoking.
lots of love and hugs Angel

Rauf said...

Ruth, i have no money, but i feel so rich today

"Beliefs are a creation out of fear, the need for security. People are afraid of being their own authority...."

This is education, never heard this before Ruth.

Very old people, even at their death bed think of their mothers. A successful marriage is where the wife plays the role of her husband's mother as well. We are too afraid to be free. We want to be controlled by some authority, some belief.
The idea of being an orphan is a nightmare, a picture of horror.

i really don't feel bad about not having any money Ruth. Wealth comes from various sources, you are one of them.

chinna said...

to me a miracle would be if a 'radical change' occurs without known cause. just a figure appearing is an illusion.

Ruth said...

I see this generation of students, more than ever before, looking outside themselves for authority. It's changing so quickly, it's hard to believe. I blame their parents, who must be removing choice from their children's lives from Day #1. Now parents call me, complaing about this and that. Students come to me and ask me to tell them what to do. I tell them what to do a dozen times, and they still ask me to tell them again. They are terribly afraid of making a mistake. How do I teach them that life is about making mistakes and learning from them? They have to learn this on their own I guess.

We gave Lesley and Peter choices as soon as they could make them. They are not perfect, and we are not perfect parents, but we knew they had to live with the consequences of their choices and learn from them.

I grew up in the Christian faith. When I left it, my biggest fear was "what if I'm wrong, what if I will go to hell?" It took years for me to drive that fear from my mind.


rauf, you've inspired me a hundred times to think beyond what I thought before.

her indoors said...

the no smoking in public places commandment takes effect from the 1st July over in England and yes Rauf it also means pipe smoking!
lovely post amazing photos x

Rauf said...

Chinna, an illusion will not have any physical properties

Rauf said...

Ruth, i was not confident of what i was doing. My giving up faith was slow and gradual, it was a slow transition. i realised much later that i am breaking away all the chains but still no freedom because i am living in a society. there was a fear of isolation though there was a freedom of thought and i saw things with more clarity. i could isolate myself only to a certain extent. Fear was always there. i think of my mother who defended me when attacked and criticised by the society. After her death, i was left alone to defend myself.

In India, parents expect their children to be like tham. a doctor wants his son and his daughter to be a doctor. A chartered accountant chooses commerce subjects for his children. They are not given any freedom to choose. A doctor friend's daughter was taken to a Swamiji when she refused to go to a medical school.
They are still in a state of shock. Ruth, we don't have any guides like you in our schools and colleges who can give proper direction to confused children and adamant parents and help them to decide.

Rauf said...

HER INDOORS ! I am guilty.
I never smoked in public places. Wilderness, yes. At home when children are away, now they have grown up i just close the door and smoke. in a three day train journey i go to the toilet to smoke, only when the train is in motion. if caught i have to pay fine. but in long distance trains the Train officials are more understanding. perhaps they smoke too.

mystic rose said...

..and this is why we love you. :)


hey rauf, i need ur help..i m going to make a movie called life after death.
i need to customise my template for that feel..hw can i use my own template fr my blog..i hav a pic of a lady running in sunset..can i use that as a backround..dude u gottu help me..pls write ur suggestions at drruchibhatt@hotmail.com.treat ths request as urgent.

Rauf said...

Myshteek Roja, you will hate me when you read my next post

Rauf said...

Ruchi, i have written to you. Sure i would love to do it.
You are a doctor and you are making a film on life after death ?
Your patients will run away from you.

Rachel said...

Hi Rauf,

I enjoyed your story- for awhile I wasn't sure if it was fiction.

Something that is absolutely fascinating is that our minds create and project the external reality.

Our minds have all agreed that an apple looks the same way. And when you walked into that house, you all agreed that you saw an image on the wall. This goes beyond suggestion- how can we all possibly project the exact same world when we have separate minds?

And then, since we are all projecting the same images, why is it that we all have different interpretations of those images?

Are we all projecting this life for different reasons?

Is anyone wrong?

Is anyone right?

What purpose do these images serve?

Rauf said...

i used to write fiction Rachel, short stories, but they were based on some facts. A friend of mine translated a couple in tamil and published them in a Tamil magazine in his name. It was a rude shock when it was broght to my notice by some other friends. As a result i stopped writing altogether.

Even Animals have difference of opinion, more pronounced in humans and more complex motives. If Jesus appears in your house your neighbour will not be happy, he will do his best to prove that it is not Jesus nor a miracle. The worst would be if the Pope happens to be your neighbour. Your house along with Jesus Christ would be burnt. Risky business i can tell you. But the majority would be on your side.

Please keep the miracle part aside.
Your being a good human being will not be appreciated by many, they will splash mud on you. Press will dig out some material to discredit you.

Rachel, if possible please get a movie called 'Oh God' With John Denver George Burns and Teri Garr,
(Ruth, Teri Garr is another name to that list)

"It's true. People have trouble remembering My Words. Moses had such a bad memory I had to give him tablets" - George Burns

Rachel, perhaps this movie came bafore you were born. Its such a delightful comedy, an incredibly beautiful film.

God appears to John Denver in the form of George Burns and wrecks his life. i am laughing to glory remembering the dialogue. Every scene is worth remembering. Had to watch this film three or four times as i missed a lot each time there was a roar in the theatre and i was bending with laughter. John Denver is made to face theologeans, who grill him with questions, God helps him with the answers. and the rich evangelists sue him for spreading word of God. the matter is taken to court, his wife leaves him, his own children avoid him. then finally God appears in court.
Oh Rachel, i want to watch this movie again.


hey, i liked it all ur pics but can i use a .gif file as a backround fr my blog...if so.kindly acquaint me wth the procedure.

arvindh said...

Good post on an irrational belief. You may recall pillayar (Ganesha) drinking milk a couple of years ago!

IN the states jesus appears on toasted buns and the like (and then you just auction that moldy thing on ebay!).

I am sure you will find the God Delusion a good read.

BTW, thank you so much for offering to help me change the template. I will write to you if I suffer any glitches in the process.

As usual your blog is just fantastic.

Rauf said...

Ruchi, i am not an expert, have no knowledge of HTML, i don't have a set procedure, i keep tinkering with templates, still on trial and error. As i have told you i work only with my pictures.
This involves knowing your password for me to work on your page, which is not a good idea. Did you get my mail ?

Rauf said...

thank you, Yes Arvindh, i remember that 'miracle'

i have very high regard for Richard Dawkins, have to buy God Delusion. its 700 rupees.

Innocent people have beliefs, i never touch them. i would not call them ignorant but i object when educated people go irrational.

Rachel said...

Oh God! is not before my time, but I was too young to remember any of it, that's for sure! I will rent it and watch it again! I bet I can really appreciate it now. John Denver? What a hoot!

Also, so sorry to hear about someone plagiarizing your work! My students do it all day long! You tell them to write a paper and you can tell it's a patch work quilt of other peoples' writings that they copy-pasted into a word document!

Anyway- keep writing! At least it's getting published! Even if you were the only one on Earth who knew it was your story, it was still good wasn't it?

That touches on the exercise of giving to others without them knowing that you did it.

Rauf said...

John Denver is still my favourite Rachel. i always carry his music with me.

My friend is still a friend, this was years ago. When i protested he said be thankful, because of me your story saw the light of the day, otherwise it was gathering dust in the dark.

I never talk about photography with my students, i put them on to books and thrust music on them, i talk about different subjects to build their own imagination.

Chimera said...

a funnily satirical post on God!
oh Gawd, why can't i write like that??

magiceye said...

hope you have mailed a copy of this to god....will lighten his day!

Rauf said...

Hi Your Majesty Princess Chimera !
i am not a writer and don't claim to be one. What ever i do any Bihari can do. With your command over the language and your exceptional sense of humour, you can do much better. One Bihari wrote an essay on cow, you would have read it. i'll post it if you haven't.

Rauf said...

Hope God reads my blog MagicEye, People have given him so many profiles and IDs that its hard find the right one.

"Angeldust" said...

Raufie dear
I promise I will not pray for you to quit smoking.
That is your decition.
I smoked for more than 25 years and quit for nobody - just got tired of being a slave of it.
Quit on Jan 16 1988
Once in a blue moon I share one without inhaling , can't do that anymore (it is simply horrid).
Other than that I never think about, occasionally someone blowing smoke on the street strikes me unpleasant.
The smoke of a pipe has always been a pleasant one.
(Had a friend who had bleeding sores in his mouth from so much smoking - he later estalished one of the first environmental clinincs in NA. - died in 70's donno of what - thought he will be around for much longer, still he did a lot of good!)

My theory is that it is not the tobacco that kills and causes cancer, but the chemicals the manufacturers put in it. If yours come from somewhat safe sources.. enjoy!

Lots of love and hugs

Rauf said...

Dearest Angel,
Please go after birds and flowers tomorrow, they always bring joy. Hope you are feeling fine and happy. i sit and observe birds, i am not good at names, but they always bring immense joy to me what ever be my mood. Actually i have my mood swings only when i am in the city. if i had little money i would have left the city long ago, but unfortunately i never went after money and when ever i had money i just blew it off. When ever i get money, within ten minutes i am at the railway station booking ticket to go somewhere. Now i don't even book the ticket, i simply hop into the train.

My friends bring me tobacco from abroad. i don't like flavoured, aromatic tobacco. i don't enjoy the smoke but people sitting around enjoy it. but i smoke only when i am alone. i like our own Indian tobacco and i love Irish tobacco called 'Erinmore mixture' it comes in tins.

i have to die of something Angel, mom died of breast cancer, she never smoked, i would have died many times before, on the road or in the wilderness, i am on extension now, so i am more and more reckless. We humans never learn from our blunders. i am a human.

lots of love and hugs Angel, and please don't let external factors bother you. You are a happy girl always.