29 August 2006

EYE CONTACT

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Forgot to post this picture, This is about eye contact, No no I am not trying to promote contact lenses. He is looking down at me with contempt. See the pride in his eyes. I don't like this.


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Took this picture on Mala Chinna's terrace.
I'll be 59 in January. All the eye to eye contacts I had in my entire life would add up to just five minutes, perhaps less. I talk, I have lots of friends but hardly any eye contact with them while talking. I can't say I am not comfortable talking eye to eye, looking directly in to the eye is a strain. You just can't do it all the time.


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You get to know the person's intentions in a fraction of a second. Popular belief is that people avoid eye contact while lying. This is not true. I have seen politicians look directly into your eyes and lie. They do it on TV all the time. They are professional liars. Or a shop keeper or a waiter looks straight into your eyes and says it is fresh while pushing something stale to you.


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Oh No ! this chap is not lying. I saw him looking straight into my eyes.


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This was different, this was scary, looks angry, direct eye contact gives a spine chilling experience. No he wouldn't give up. No contest. I withdrew within seconds, took a few pictures and moved away, turned back and looked, he was still staring at me without a blink for more than 5 minutes. Is it because they are honest and nothing to fear ? I posted a story few months ago MONKEY SENSE It is about how a monkey fooled me and stole a packet of biscuits from my camera bag.


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I can hardly see his eyes But I know he is looking at me. Very strange feeling. I was not comfortable. They are able to hold for long period.


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Looks like this chick is trying to say some thing to me.


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This mother and child on a low branch of a tree, the baby's contact was longer than the mother's
It kept staring at me for a long time. Mother looked away, I was not very interesting for her.


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Cute baby lovely eyes. Natural Kaajal, Kaajal is an eyeliner ladies use.
I have seen birds staring at each other, in anger or in love, but mostly during fights. Like the two boxers who keep staring at each others eyes. trying to guess the next move.


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He's got bad attitude for sure ! This is a RIVER TERN chick. Doesn't look very happy.


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Ah I love this, Sweet kids, Children normally look in to your eyes, when they want something.
I think as we grow older we avoid eye contact. Please tell me what you think.

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BLUNT KNIFE
WILD PIC






45 comments:

ari4u said...

Rauf, this is a unique, creative and an excellent post regarding eye contact. You couldnt have explained it any better. Though i know very well how much you avoid eye contact by hiding them behind those glasses. :) I know you well.

Kids are pure and innocent. They can stare at you in the eye and demand an answer or get something out. I loved all the pictures, esp the last one. Very candid. Good post :)

Take care

Patty said...

I agree w/Ari. You have done an interesting great post about eye contact! loved the images and commentary. I also went back and read about the monkey stealing your biscuits. Well-executed theft, bet you learned a lesson there and in telling the story, your readers learn without having it happen to themselves. the last pic is lovely, so sweet! they are happy, filled with love and adventure and still experiencing things for the 1st time. to them everthing is wonderful, the world holds endless possibilities and they are not burdened by the troubles of life.

kathy said...

Rauf hello

I loved your photos. The monkeys are too cute. eye contact? hmmm? i don't know? Here where i live they say eye contact is important. now you got me thinking. With the animals a long stare in the eyes means confrontation? i think?

Rauf said...

This has been pending for a long time Aamir. When ever I had an eye contact, felt pretty strange, fear most of the time, I withdraw and run. Thought about writing about it but kept postponing. Have many pictures, I have added the first one after you saw the post. Eagle raptor falcon what is it ?

Rauf said...

Forgot to add one picture Patty.
We have eye contact under many situations. Eyes could be so expressive. Ladies specially, just one look, straight in to my eye tells me where I belong. One look can build or destroy a personality

Rauf said...

On the dot Kathy, Love affection, contempt pride, hatred, envy, jealousy (don't know the difference)
It all comes to the eyes.

A couple of seconds of direct eye contact, you communicate and make your point and off your looks go elsewhere. If you continue with the eye contact it is no longer love and affection it becomes confrontation. It applies to humans also. You are absolutely right Kathy. I am learning so much thank you.

Ruth said...

I avoid eye contact with animals I don't know or trust. But sometimes I connect with a stranger's dog as if we've known one another for all time, and our eyes meet, and then my hand to their nose, then my hand to their head, etc. When I lived in Istanbul, I never raised my eyes on the street, believing if I met men's eyes it would give the wrong message. Here in the States, I like giving eye contact as much as possible. You're right, kids think nothing of staring at you, and that is freedom from ego.

Ruth said...

Oh, and I love the girls, such different expressions in the 3 of them, a bit of mischief I think, that you brought out. Great job.

Rauf said...

Thank you Ruth, My cat ginger used to look straight in to my eyes.
Since morning I am observing myself, my niece nephew, sister and friends who walked in today. There's hardly any eye contact. Though there's lot of activity and the house is full of guests from outstation today, we talk non stop. Eye contact lasted only for a second, nothing more.

Lord Boo said...

wonderful topic, Poms ! you know, i used to think that you unconsciously avoided eye contact, but now i know you are aware of it. I like making eye contact with people, helps me gets more confident in making conversation with strangers. Loved the last pic; yeah, kids are more open and confident when younger, and it's only when their confidence and innocence gets dented by life's miseries, they shy away. nice post *hugs*

Imemine said...

I think these ideas about eye contact is purely cultural. Having lived in different cultures for a number of years, I found out people have different ideas about it. In the Philippines making too much eye contact or any eye contact at all is considered rude and an expression of dominance, anger or ill-will. In the Netherlands, it's just the other way around. If you don't make eye contact they think you have something against them. They also see looking away is a sign of anger, guilt or fear.
Anyway after having some difficult experiences with this habit, especially of looking away, I managed to form the habit of not looking away after I realized that it could be a sign of inferiority complex or timidity. The only problem I'm having now is that some women often start thinking I am interested in them. ;>)
Staring down at someone is probably a better alternative.

kathy said...

Eye contact. I'm facinated by this subject. Imemine has a point and is right i think. Richard tells me that in Europe (He went to school there, high school i think)...the people there stare at you and they think nothing of it. In Mexico the culture there is different and too much eye contact is not respectful.

this is interesting subject.
Thanks Rauf

Don Iannone said...

Great ones Rauf. You have gifted us all with these closeups of life.

Cindy said...

These are such awesome pictures, Rauf. Speaking of eye contact, the eyes will tell you in a fraction of a second just about everything you need to know about someone- guess that's why they are referred to as the "windows of the soul".

Rauf said...

What nonsense ?? I love looking into your loveley eyes booey !!
Even when we fight there has never been a stare of confrontation, you twist your mouth and give me a thump, I kick you or you kick me, but never a locked eye contact.
I love fighting with you booey
ummmmas and hugs

Rauf said...

Yes IMEMINE, purely cultural, here is the difference is east and west.
Looking in to the eyes for more than a couple of seconds is disrespectful in almost all of the eastern cultures. Among Muslims a son or a daughter don't look in to the eyes of the father. Same with teacher and pupil. Same with Hindus, a married woman covers her face ( called 'ghoonghat' ) while talking to father in law or other elders in the family, there is hardly any eye contact. Father and brothers are exempted. A pupil is supposed to look down while answering a question.

Rauf said...

Kathy, In martial arts you are not supposed to lose eye contact. Yes it is purely cultural. Eastern cultures never claimed equality or never fought for it until recent years. There has been equality in western cultures. Only the slaves brought from Africa were considered inferior.

In India, lower cast are not supposed to look in to the eyes of higher cast people.
People are born inferior or superior. This social evil still continues in the 21st century.

Rauf said...

Thank you Don

Rauf said...

Yes Cindy, and yet people manage to mislead with eye contact. It could be very deceptive too. Eyes can express so much. Gurus and swamis are experts in reading the eyes. One look and they know everything about you This is how they take advantage. This is how they make money. They always look into the eyes.

FOUR DINNERS said...

Wow! Stunning pics again mate. (Pity you're over there or you could come on tour and photograph the Old Pretenders playing football...or not depending on your point of view)
A monkey came through my cargo shed yesterday and held my hand through the bars all the way to the special animal room we've got. Looked me right in the eye all the way. I said "You'll be allright mate". I could swear it relaxed when I said that.

You're pics are every bit as good as any I've seen. Thank you.

Cristina said...

Amazing closeups! I especially liked the hawk (falcon?) and the baby monkey's eyes. May I ask how close you actually get to the animals? Monkeys can be quite vicious I hear. I definitely need to come back and look at some more of these wonderful photos.

Rauf said...

Thank you FOUR DINNERS LOL! Your soft words would have assured him for sure. You could have asked him if he would like to be the chief of security, perhaps he would do a better job of making your cargo area secure.

Kate said...

Such a great idea. The birds seemed to be frightening because of their stares, but the other animals seemed more endearing. Eye contact is important, but in some places it can be dangerous. Or so I've been told. Visual clues, esp. eyes are very important to me.

Rauf said...

Yes Eyes are most important Kate. capable of conveying hundreds of different messages or expressions.
People become masters of reading a personality just by a second of an eye contact. As Kathy said, a second longer eye contact can become a look of confrontation. Knowing when to end an eye contact is also very important.

Rauf said...

Welcome to my page Christina, The pictures of black faced Nilgiri langur were taken in kabini forest in the state of karnataka India and the grey one with the baby were taken in Manampalli forest in the state of Tamil Nadu where I live. I live in the capital city of Chennai. I was about 15 feet away, and there is an interesting story there, please click on the yellow link ' Monkey sense' in the post.
Its about how a female took the risk of her life and pinched a packet of biscuits from my bag. It was a well planned and well executed robbery. Yes they do get vicious at times. I quickly withdrew

Gangadhar said...

wah Rauf wah..Every pic is a master piece..loved each one of them...Deer,monkeys,sweet kids and what not..
Eye contact! you've done it verywell explaining all those things..yeahi agree wid u..politicians are professional liers..they're so incorrigible and inveterate at that attitude..
Kids are..as Aamir said..so pure and innocent which we elders often lack those qualities..

Rauf said...

'are these fresh' ?
a very stupid question Gangadhar
He looks straight into her eyes and says ' yes Madam just arrived, fresh from the farm'
He is not going say ' No Madam they have been rotting here since a week, no one would buy them, since you look dumb, thought we could push them to you'.

Ash said...

The eyes say it all....

Rauf said...

Yes they do Ashwathy, more than we can read

Lord Boo said...

hahaha ! me miss fighting with you too, Poms ! you were the only guy i could beat up and get away with, hehe ! i miss everything about the nice times we had together *sigh* *hugsx100*

Ruth said...

You have really got me paying attention to eyes now, Rauf (as you noticed on my blog yesterday). There is so much information there being communicated, so much light and beauty. I've heard that babies have large eyes (and other cute features) so the parent will care for them, drawing from natural emotions wanting to care for something attractive and cute. That baby monkey definitely qualifies.

dumbdodi said...

GREAT POST RAUF, I am glad I came by here. It was very nice

Rauf said...

hehehe Booey! no one to buy me road side chai now. I hardly go out with any one, hate going to Spencer plaza alone boo. I miss you so much. ummmmmmmmas and a thousand hugs

Rauf said...

I have started observing too Ruth, hardly any eye contact with members of the family, we walk and talk or eat and talk. Now Puma has started observing me, If he doesn't attract my attention, he starts licking or nibbling my toes.
Children give a look of hurt. They expext you to look in their eyes. They know how to attract your attention.

Rauf said...

Thank you DmDD, Welcome to Daylight again

Sangita said...

That last pic of kids is soo good..I think kids look into ur eye as they have nothing to fear,lose,judge..it is jst the curiodity and love..Yeah I guess so

Rauf said...

Thanks Sangita, Children are our teachers. they make us better humans.

Mark Walter said...

My mother taught us growing up that "the eyes are the window to the soul." So they are, and in many respects this is why people avoid sustained eye contact. Only lovers are 'allowed' to gaze deeply into each other's eyes. Dare anyone else?

I am priviledged to have a teacher and fellow students who, while we don't spend our days gazing into each other's eyes, do so from time to time. I have seen and experienced some amazing things in doing this. The tendency, though, is to blink and turn away. Why? At first, perhaps because of politeness and social discomfort. But getting past that, the blinking and turning away most often seem to occur because something is being seen that we don't want to deal with. Instead, we deny it by looking away.

Rauf said...

Mark ! Yes thats true with most of the Eastern cultures. We don't look in the eyes of the elders. Normally I avoid eye contact for more than a couple of seconds even with friends, Some times to make things clear or to make them understand your point, you have to look in to their eyes. I have avoided confrontations, never liked violent fight movies too. I get into heated debates almost every day. But they all end peacefully, no one likes confrontation. Eye contact has both positive and negative aspects, depends on the situation. One can make the situation worse or dissolve the tension by mere eye contact. Yes eyes are the windows that show beyond you, Soul ? may be.

The Visitor said...

Rauf - fantastic - Eye contact, blunt knife etc. The Palakkad- Pollachi-palakkad train trip had me sniffing nostalgically. Great stuff!
Oh God! I really need time to see everything :(

Rauf said...

Thank you Visitor, Most welcome always. I'll be posting some more Palakkat pictures in a couple of weeks.

objectif-plume said...

I adore the last one! splendid

Sandy said...

Rauf these are wonderful pics and to read your commentary is so interesting...I always find it is the kids and sometimes the animals especially dogs where you experience long held eye contact..

glad I saw these..thanks.

Rauf said...

thank you Objectif-plume

Rauf said...

Sandy, inIndia eye contact is supposed to be disrespectful. Pupil is not supposed to look in the eyes of the teacher. so is with parents. i am afraid of having an eye contact with dogs. Cats are fine for me.