5 December 2005

Big Money


Things just happen and we have no control over it.

You are here reading my blog. You are here, and alive.
I have been into near fatal accidents many times.
I escaped because I left five seconds late or five seconds too early.
If I have any knowledge of what is waiting for me on the road I would never step out of my house.
If You know the future, things will come to grinding halt.
This element of uncertainty is what the life is all about.

Why do we ask questions, why do we seek enlightenment ?
One fundamental reason is insecurity. There is no way of knowing our future.
This is big business, big money.
Our insecurity takes us to diffrent Guru's, and Swamis, and they cash in. Your insecurity is money for them.
This includes the Vatican or Thirupati Temple and many others,
they are rich.
Your insecurity makes them rich.



For 2 days I have been cleaning up things after the rains, books and my music collection mostly. After a long time found myself playing two songs over and over again, 'Noah's Dove' Natalie Merchant's haunting voice, and Jamie O'Neil 'There is no Arizona'

Such pain in her voice ?? I don't know how to say it.

I have very limited knowledge of English,

some times I don't find right words to express what's on my mind,

Urdu being my language. I think in Urdu and write in English ' Dard bhari Aawaaz' or 'Soz' . Please help me I don't know how to say that in English.

Then there is this song which I heard on the radio a couple of years ago. I don't know the title and I don't know the name of the singer.


I'm at a pay phone just outside Charlotte

I just stopped to call to let you know I'm running late

yea I am pretty sure I've got the right direction

exit 29, just off the interstate........


Is there a place where I am not taken for granted

and I don't have to spend the nights alone

and I need a place where he can't hurt me any more

some place.. .. thats no place like home ...


This song moved me to tears. It's about some one leaving home.

This is one of the many reasons why I pour my frustrations in my blogs, thrashing beliefs, society, God. I am a blunt knife, doesn't cut anything.

When You hear a beautiful song and you don't know the name of the singer, you can't sleep.

The internet has come to my rescue before, like I came to know the title and the lyrics of Trisha Yearwood's 'I don't paint myself into corners any more' There's a whole lot of treasure in country music out there.

No other search has frustrated me more. I had given up a couple of times before.I stopped my cleaning leaving my room in a bigger mess and went after the song. I stumbled upon a site where you can key in your query and wait for some body to respond.
Its discussion forum too

One heading was staring at me, I clicked on it

http://cowboylyrics.com/forum/read.php?f=1&i=21862&t=21862



Its about a song, perhaps recorded in the 50's or early 60's allegedly sung by Johnny Cash, used to like him in my younger days.

I have no courage to post the title and the lyrics here in my blog.

In response to a query one Ms. Judi McKnight furnished the lyrics without any malice, and with apologies and hoping that it doesn't offend any one. She furnished the lyrics because some one like me asked for it.

What followed was a flood of abuses, which turned very obscene as the discussion went on, and Ms. Judi McKnight maintained her dignity right through.

Views of some people were shocking, I was very upset, sad and angry.


What ever the level of your joy ecstasy or enlightenment may be, there is always some one out there to put a hole in it and throw you back to to the earth with a bone shattering thud.


Just as I was posting this blog, I received a mail from Ms. Judi McKnight, giving me the name of the singer. Hard to imagine her efforts trying to get me the information on the vaguest or the thinnest of clues. very sweet of her.

Thank you Judi. I can sleep now.

Blunt knife

7 comments:

wildpic said...

wow ... great write up rauf, sounds so you ... brilliant.

"That stone buddha deserves all the birdshit it gets
I wave my skinny arms like a tall flower in the wind." - some zen master.

Chinna said...

Strang effect. After i read the lyrics in yellow, the white line appeared blue.
Try it and see.

Chinna said...

about the lyrics - anything about domestic violence moves me thanks to my dad.

Rauf said...

Thanks to my dad too

Chinna said...

I followed the link to cowboylyrics. The whole racist argument was pathetic. I wish these insecure guys would go to Indian Gurus or whatever. It would give them something else to rave about.

newlight said...

cowboy lyrics

Anonymous said...

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