29 December 2005


Chinna called, Rauf we have internet.
I wasted no time, I was there early in the morning.
Mala gave me internet breakfast.
Like the keyboard and the computer my first internet experience was in Mala Chinna's house. I was impatient, Chinna was restless, repeated dialing.
What is this screeching noise ?
Its a modem Chinna said, through this modem you get connected to the world.
I was thinking how I would tollerate this screeching noise when I get the internet, it was getting on my nerves. I don't want the internet if this is going to be this noisy. After a long wait and couple of coffees and continuous screeching Yes said Chinna.
I did not know what was happening. Got connected. ?
YAHOO on the screen, oh! its a song I said
No Rauf, Chinna said, these are people who search things for you, any information.
so this is internet I thought Yahoo is internet.
What do you want Chinna asked.
Without thinking I said Enya
Chinna typed Enya in a box, Waited. One more coffee
Andy was there too, unlike me, he was asking sensible questions.
After a long wait, more coffee, and a couple of disconnections and reconnections, a text page appeared, beautifully designed, as expected of Enya. Now I was impatent I was afraid Andy would ask for something else, I wanted to eat every thing on the screen.I said I want to see her pictures. But they never came, got disconnected again. Chinna was frustrated. Mala was walking around just did not bother. What happened ? She asked why three of you look punctured ?

Much against Chinna's advise I got the internet after a few months. He knew I'll get stuck with fat telephone bills.
I got stuck with fat telephone bills.
It took 3 to 4 minutes to download a picture. I used to patiently wait.
Now if a picture doesn't appear in 5 seconds I am off to a different page, there are so many pages open at a time. I had the time I had all the patience in the world. Now I have the time but have no patience. I am the same person, no personality change. What has happened here is, my level of expectation has gone up. I no longer accept slow speed, its misery for me.

You buy a book, just off the shelf or recomended by a friend. You have already formed an opinion of it. If you think its a trash you would not buy it, you expect the book to be a good read. If it falls above your expectations its joy if it falls below your expectations its misery.

What is this level of expectation ? What decides it ?

Spielberg's ET was released here after a long wait, after running in remote places in Africa. By that time I had heard and read so much about ET. It recorded the highest gross collection ever. Standing in the queue in the hot sun with my friends on the day of its release my heart was pounding. We all were disappointed with the film. I did not like it. It was a sin to say that the film was bad. The film was not rusty rotten or decayed. It was the same film that was shown in Los Angelis or Istanbul and people loved it. My expections soared so high reading about it and waiting, that the film failed to satisfy me. There was nothing wrong with the film
Some thing was worng with me.

I'll continue tomorrow, its getting too long.
Blunt knife


mala said...


I remember yr one liner to me jus before Chinna n I got married.
"Dont expect anything"
Good advice. Verry difficult to practise.


Chinna said...

Rauf there's nothing 'wrong' with you.

In some research done on rats recently, the chemicals which give satisfaction were highest in their brains when they pressed the right button and waited for their reward.
It started to fall off when they started eating their reward.
Apparently our brains are hardwired the same way.
Now I'm expecting a quick response!

Rauf said...

Wish I had the switch Chinna
Once in the guinness book series they show a man chewing every thing. they give him an award, he chewed that too on camera

Rauf said...

yes Mala, its difficult to follow even for the happiest couple in the world like you two.

George Breed said...

Living in this present moment without expectation. A strong practice for a warrior of spirit.

Rauf said...

Yes, Thats's true. I like to explain with stories George.
This is not my idea, Ramayan mahabharat, Bible Torah Khurr-aan have stories and stories and stories.

George Breed said...

Yes, people like stories. You tell them well.

wildpic said...

அற நனைந்தவனுக்குக் குளிரென்ன கூதலென்ன.

ஆயிரம் நட்சத்திரம் கூடினாலும் ஒரு சந்திரன் ஆகாது.

குரங்குப் புண்ணுக்கு அருமை காட்டினால் கொப்பிலே கொப்பிலே தாவுமாம்.

சிறு பிள்ளை வேளாண்மை விளைஞ்சும் வீடு வந்து சேராது.

நக்கிற நாய்க்குச் செக்கென்ன சிவலிங்கமென்ன ?

வேலிக்கு ஓணான் சாட்சி.

rauf ... u figure it out ... its all the answers for all the debate we all been upto ... am not deciphering it, get suggestions, each would vary a bit.

Rauf said...

Stories really work George.

Rauf said...

Suresh I don't know if this is Googl'e work which can handle most languages. How did you get Tamil here ? I think I don't have Tamil fonts.

wildpic said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
wildpic said...

yeah, these seem to work universally ...