22 November 2005

Hello Hello... any body home ?

Hello Hello is there anybody in there ? -.David Gilmour - the Wall

I had no clue
I did not know what it was all about
I don't read news papers
Moin Ruby wouldn't say any thing to me
She said something...... they both said
I had to dig out week old news paper
And still not clear to me why there is
controversy in the first place

And please don't arrest me, I apologise in advance, this is just for fun



Khushbu walks into her doctors clinic
'EEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYAA Congratulations sweet Khushbu' !!
the doctors screams in excitement,
' be careful be careful please walk slowly slow slow slow '
'When is it due when is it due ? looks pretty close to me'
Congratulations.. congratulations !!!!
you never told me Khusbu The doc protested

' no no no aiyoo aiyoo !!' Khushbu protests

Who is your gyno ?

Oh God .....no no no Not that..... Aiyooo !

Did you have it scanned ? Why did you come here, I am not a gyno, are you having any problems ? Don't worry Don't worry, Have you seen any gyno yet ? You should have told me Khushbu, its not late, My friend Dr. Malathi is a good gyno, Lets go there.

' Aiyoo Doctor saarey... you are not listening , I am not.......its not what you think.''

Don't be shy khushbu.... I am glad.... I am so glad, you have to be careful about diet khushbu, I know you are a celebrity, and you can't go for walks, but you have a tread mill, and yoga is good for you''

Aiyooo aiyooo doctor doctor please listen....'

You have to drink lot of water khushbu lots and lots of water'

'Pleeeeese Doctor wait... I AM NOT PREGNANT '

OOOOOOOOOOOOWATTT ?? pointing to her tummy...What is this then ???

Aiyooo.. don't ask meeee...I did a stupid thing

what.. stupid thing ?

'You know what khusbu is ?

Khushbu is a movie star, and khushbu is still gorgeous'
......... doctor line maarta

No no, Khushbu is fragrance in Urdu

You have come all the way with a swollen tummy to teach me Urdu ?

Aiyoo how can I explain ?? .. its so embarrassing.

Doctor holds her hand...... ' I am not your doctor khushbu dear, I am your friend too'
phir se' line maarta
Tell me what happened Khusbu, wow even your sweat is fragrant.

This joker is lying... Line maarta saala, He is holding his breath I know

actually Thats why I am here, You know I am growing old, and producers have forgotten me, I have lost my fragrance....

no no no khushbu dear, these producers are blind you are still a stunner khushbooooo'

I don't think so doctor, I thought I could get back the same old charm the same old fragrance. and magazines would write about me again spalshing my pictures on their cover pages

wait wait let me examine you, lie down here ..Doctor taps her tummy

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG

WHAAT ? he grabs the stethoscope taps the tummy again

DOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG

What is this ??? worried look on doctors face

What happened doctor ?? ...is it serious ?

Yes I am afraid ...I don't understand... strange very strange... I tap your tummy and the echo is coming from your head'

Doctor taps her head.....' Oh Dear !! bigger echo' loud very loud, its empty.....there is nothing here,... Actually Khushboo dear, all gorgeous film stars have some echo in the head, but not like this, its too loud there is nothing here... not a thing... Now tell what happened ?'

I drank a whole bottle of perfume

''YOU WHATT ???'

I drank perfume

'What perfume ?

perfume perfume,
What perfume ? Does it really matter ?


yes

Channel 5

How much

6000 rupees

No wonder there is a loud echo up there.. I mean what is the quantity you gulped ?

The whole bottle... big one

And you thought you'll get back your old charm your old fragrance

BURRRRRRP

The doctor had to rush out of the room he couldn't bear the stink.....Comes back after the air is cleared

I came here only for this....... now you know what my problem is

Its quite a stink, worse than hydrogen sulphide and its full.... pointing to her tummy 'You have to let the stink out '

How ?

say something stinky

Like what ?

you know better

Amma has a great figure ?

Not here khushbu, not to me, say that to the press and more over its not good, she may give you an award for it, say something really stinky

Any ideas ?

Me no tell

How about my grand father designed Central Station ?

no, not good, the media is dumb, They'll eat it, they
won't check, they'll print it and next day its forgotten. You have to explode a lasting stink

How about Manmohan singh is a bearded goat ? is that any good ?

Don't talk central, you are a no body to him, I doubt he has ever heard of you. You don't exist up there.. talk Local, something the local press can't chew.

How about Tamilians don't use toilet paper ?

no.. not good.... that is stale, and more over that is a desi American statement, even Aishwarya Rai doesn't use toilette paper..

She doesn't ??? how do you know?

I know ...

do you ?

Do you what ?

do you use ?

Use what ?

Toilet paper you silly..... you are a doctor

No

Like me, .... very Indian

We are drifting from the subject and all my waiting patients ran away, they couldn't bear the stink and I lost ten thousand rupees

I am broke, I would have compensated, Thats why I drank the whole bottle

Doctor is looking bored and irritated now Just go out Khushbu... climb on to the stage grab the mike, call the press and say something really stinky...Press had nothing to eat since Shankaracharya, they are hungry. Poor guys are dying of starvation ...Nothing really happens here in Madras..please go.. I cant bear the stink Just get out of here